Back again...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by RescueMe, Nov 4, 2007.

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  1. RescueMe

    RescueMe New Member

    I had a really, really bad 2006. It was really awful. So many things happened that I would never wish upon my worst enemy. The last few months of 2006, were actually quite good though. I met some new friends, I was doing a course I was really enjoying, my mum had found someone and she seemed happier, I felt on top of the world for one of the first times ever in my life.

    It was like that for half of 2007 aswell, but the summer holidays was when things started to get bad again.

    The people I thought and called "friends", are no longer what I'd call friends. I still hang around with them at college but I've had enough of their digs at me and the way they treat me (invite me out somewhere, then no contact on the day). They only involve me when it benefits them. Whatever.

    Now, i'm in the second year of the same course but I'm not really enjoying it now. The course finishes next year and i have to sort my future out before the year is out (if i want to apply to a university, i have to by the end of the year) and I don't know what I want to do in the future. My mind is blank.

    I do nothing outside of college. I have no life. I've tried getting a job, but nobody seems to care. I feel like I have no friends. I've heard people say that loneliness is one of the worst things someone can go through. I now believe them.

    Not only am I depressed, my mum is aswell. She is in a similar situation as me, her friends have abandoned her, et cetera. She's had to stop working because of depression. I don't want to talk to her about my problems, as it'll upset her and might make her worse.

    I don't want to be alone, but I have no idea what to do. I can't push myself to go to any clubs or anything because i'm scared what people will think of me. I'm very insecure.

    I also hate my appearance, and i'm desperately trying to change it. Go to the gym, whatever, but I just don't have the money. I need a job?

    I'm happy to be able to say I don't feel suicidal (which i did last year) anymore, but, I'm back to feeling just as depressed as I was last year.

    I just feel i'm stuck with nowhere to go. I don't even know what i'm going to benefit from by posting this? This is the only place I can think of turning to, as it helped me alot over the past year.

    I'm sorry if this is too long or whatever, please don't feel you have to reply.
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