Back Again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Relentless, Nov 13, 2007.

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  1. Relentless

    Relentless Active Member

    Hey so I am back once again with suicidal thoughts. I thought I was over this but they just keep coming back. I posted back in August about me going into 10th grade high school new school. Everyone said I could remake myself get new friends, but turns out I can't and I have not. It's so annoying, I wake up go to school walk around anxiously around the school go home get on computer/Xbox play that until it's time to sleep. Do that all over again day after day after day. I have anxiety issues I can't speak to girls or boys. I NEVER in my whole entire life will ever have a girlfriend, i'm 16 years old and I have never kissed a girl. I thought maybe when I got my license to drive it would shine new hope on my life. But it hasn't my birthday was November 6th just barely 16 my life is horrible and I am really thinking of just ending it, instead of going the rest of my life with these constant feelings.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Have you ever tried to find a teen support group in your area? It is too difficult sometiems to make friends when they do not know the pain you are suffering. They see you as snobbish or standoffish without realizing that you are a wonderful person but with too much pain. Joining a support group will give you the opportunity to connect with other teens that are sharing the same pain. You will also meet teens that have been or are currently sucessfully fighting their demons. It gives you, if nothing else, a litlle glimmer of hope for your futre to see others like you, your own age surviving. I hope you listen to my advise cuz I 've been there and it did help. Now I attend adult support groups and let me tell ya, there have been many a time I thought it was over, went to group and walked out to live at least one more day. Who knows you may even find your first kiss there. Here's hoping!
  3. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I'm with you itmaha, these support groups are great!

    Anyway, 16 is always a hard age. I felt very ugly at that age too, even attempted suicide and displayed suicidal gestures. But I'm glad I'm alive, even though life gets harder as I get older. When I think of the people I would miss out on, I thank my stars that I'm still on this earth.

    I don't know if I'll experience a severe suicidal episode again. I probably will. But for now, I'm taking it one day at a time.
  4. Relentless

    Relentless Active Member

    I could possible find one, but that may give some kids at school if they found out another reason to laugh at me. They would call me emo suicidal freak ect. I don't know even if I went into the group i'd have way to much anxiety to even talk let alone be comfortable. I am so shy it's not funny.
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey I suffer from depression, bipolar, panic and anxiety attacks. The first time I went to group was probably one of the hardest things I did. I sat throught the whole 2 hours and never said a word. But the next time I went it got a little easier and so on and so on. Nobody there expects anything of you. But you will see like I did, that you end up talking just because you will actually feel like this is a place where you belong. Don't forget, everyone in that group probably had just as scary a 1st time. It also helped me to overcome my fear of talking to others. Not that I can give a speech or anything, but I can now tell others my story (at least for now in group). If that's not an option, there are callin centres. It is much easier to talk on the phone or email than face to face. I hope you will give it a try. I wish I could get across to you how important it is for you to do something for yourself instead of worrying about the others and what they will say. My sixteen year old daughter is going through some rotten crap right now and is being called the emo crap too. But she is taking baby steps like I am suggesting for you. She actually made a new friend just the other day, and she is like so much better already. It has changed her outlook dramatically You can email me here any time you may need some support or just a shoulder to lean on or a good kick in the pants to keep you going.
  6. Mike04

    Mike04 Active Member

    Sounds kind of like me when I was in school. Going to school with no one to talk to, so just keeping everything to yourself. At home is the same thing -- just no one talks to you, and you cannot seem to talk to them. (Its a little different here for me, as I felt something bad would happen if I spoke, as it sometimes did; which is probably why I am afraid of talking with people.)

    Personally, I am still like that, and am 21 years old (Soon 22 next month.) and always felt like an outcast--still do.

    You want to talk to someone, or anyone; but either do not know if you really want to, if you can trust them, or just cannot open your mouth to speak, even if you want to.

    I am letting you know that you are not alone - There are alot of other people here that feel the same way. At least now we can both know that there are others like us, and that it does not mean the end.

    And no, I never had a gf either. Never Been Kissed(tm) either.

    I wish you the best of luck with your situation. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk :)

    (This forum doesn't allow html... :( Oh well )
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2007
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