Back again...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thrillseeker, Aug 19, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. thrillseeker

    thrillseeker Active Member

    I really feel alone... This feeling of loneliness is what's really getting to me. There's no way around it... I tried going to EP, but after shutting my account down I feel like I'm back to square one. I'm starting class again on the 8th... and not sure if I'll be able to hold out. I really don't think I can... And I think me going and seeing people with their friends, seeing people laughing.. seeing people loving each other, will really just bring me over the edge... I keep hearing people come into your life for a reason, but it seems like the ones that come into my life, just come in to humble me... To make me feel as worthless as I really am... Once you're damaged, you are forever it seems. I also keep reading that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... In what way? To the point where you're just desensitized to the point where nothing matters? I've been searching for meaning for the past 22 years and have had no luck. Tomorrow I'm going to try finding an 8ball to get some last feeling of joy. And if I don't OD, I will find another way to get this over with.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Keep posting. Get it out. You arent alone when you are here. Others are listening. Let us help if we can.
  3. thrillseeker

    thrillseeker Active Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2010
  4. thrillseeker

    thrillseeker Active Member

    I managed to get an appt with a psychiatrist. And if I get any thoughts before then I'll just walk myself into a hospital which I suggest anyone else do as sites like this dont do shit.
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Since you are still in school, why not try something. If not for yourself, then for me. Go to school and do the following :
    • Introduce Yourself To Someone
    • Ask them 3 questions, there are plenty of easy school related questions to ask.
    I want you to do this in each of your classes. Try to meet one person a week. Instead of waiting for people to come into your life, you can come I to theirs. In an anime I watched a while ago. There was a girl character who wanted to date her teacher. However, she just could not get into his world. So her friend told her to drag him down her world, like she did to him.... do not know something to try before you die right?
  6. .Dan

    .Dan Active Member

    Keep your head up Alex. You got good things on the horizon. School can fuckin suck, seeing all those people who laugh, smile, and have friends sucks. I think all of the bad things you or anyone else has experienced do desensitize us. Sometimes to the point of not feeling human anymore. Coke aint the answer man. Trust me. I relapsed about 4 days ago. I was clean for 4 years from that shit. I did it for the same reason, to feel something again. When it was gone I just felt worse and not to mention I could have used that money for something else. I do have to disagree with you though about this site not helping. I know for a fact that it saved my life one night. But its not a long term solution, you also gotta get help elsewhere. Keep your head up man.
  7. Blue_Sky

    Blue_Sky Well-Known Member

    Why make life harder than it is? Drugs just create more problems. Keep searching for that meaning you're looking for and don't give up. Everyone comes to find it eventually if persistent.

    That is good advice, I need to remind myself of this, though not always easy to do when anxiety has a strong grip.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.