I really feel alone... This feeling of loneliness is what's really getting to me. There's no way around it... I tried going to EP, but after shutting my account down I feel like I'm back to square one. I'm starting class again on the 8th... and not sure if I'll be able to hold out. I really don't think I can... And I think me going and seeing people with their friends, seeing people laughing.. seeing people loving each other, will really just bring me over the edge... I keep hearing people come into your life for a reason, but it seems like the ones that come into my life, just come in to humble me... To make me feel as worthless as I really am... Once you're damaged, you are forever it seems. I also keep reading that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... In what way? To the point where you're just desensitized to the point where nothing matters? I've been searching for meaning for the past 22 years and have had no luck. Tomorrow I'm going to try finding an 8ball to get some last feeling of joy. And if I don't OD, I will find another way to get this over with.