It seems that writing on here a few times this week helped a little so I return. I got out of hospital this evening and I've just woke up again so evidentally I couldn't cope last night. I don't think I had any intention of ending it all, just really wanted to sleep and everything to go away, which it did for a while. The sleepy effects are wearing off now. I feel I do want to get better but I'm not sure if I can cope while I wait for my medication to be sorted and to get into my system again. And I don't really believe that will solve everything anyway. I suffer with a lot of anxiety and panic attacks so I always need something to keep my mind off it but I require more and more intense distractions, such as the OD last night. I was considering self harm as I did that years ago but so far I haven't and so I am here, wasting a bit of time and keeping my brain busy instead. It all feels so very unreal. Almost like I'm not fully connected to my body. It's going to be a long few hours but I'm back on my medication now so we shall see. I can't believe this is me saying all this. I was happy in the past and now all I think about is negativity. Anyway, better writing and getting things out than doing 'other things'. Farewell.