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Back into My Hole

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AfterFact, Feb 20, 2010.

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  1. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    For a while I thought I was getting better. My med were starting to work and my mood was starting to be more stable. But now I realize that when they wear off I am the same person I was before I stayed at the hospital for 15 days.
    Now when I actually want to go back, I cant. School is the same, home is the fucking same. I have no reason to live and while that may sound melodramatic for a teenager, I fucked up my life so badly that its true. In fact the only thing that has kept me alive is self harm which makes me even more depressed. Every time I go to school I self destruct, I lose my mind. I literally shut down. I can think most of the time, my arms are covered with reminders of my mistakes and memories I once held there, I cant even remember. I only remember bad,worse, worst.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 20, 2010
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.....
    If your meds are wearing off you need to tell your doctor...you may need to have them increased or changed......they really shouldn't be wearing off....
    why do you feel you can't go back to hospital?..
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with IV.. Your meds should work until your next dose.. You may need an increase or changed to something else.. You have a full life ahead of you...Don't let the lies caused by depression drag you down..Go see your pdoc...
  4. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    dont give up, my friend.
  5. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    Thing is I did see my doctor, and I increased my meds, but it still isnt working. I cant go back to the hosptial because my doctor and my parents dont think I should go back. This is after I tell them everything.
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    keep telling your parents how you feel until they listen....same with your doctor...
    you have the right to be heard.....
    you have to find the right treatment so you can get past those suicidal feelings...
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