I am going back n forth on what I want to to. I already went to the bridge...decided hesitated on jumping even though that is WHAT I want more than anything. I convinced myself I can sit alone in hoel room and starve to death...which seems awful. I can't bring myself to make up my mind on what to do. go to bridge.....stay and starve in motel....hmmm I cant stad staying like this both have pros and cons I can't deal with this.