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back to dead

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I'm doing good.
However, I want to be feeling bad again. (thats why I'm here). I want to be depressed again, so I can cut. I want to cut again so I can bleed. I want to bleed again so I can die. I'm all happy and yet I still want death. Why can't I just feel happy and not have a problem with it. I want to wear short sleeve clothing when I rock climb, but I have old scars. I'm going to make new ones.
I cant stand the people around me. Im so angry and so depressed. And selfish..i shouldnt write a post
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