Back to rock bottom attempt two is in order

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mbrace, Jan 13, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. mbrace

    mbrace Member

    So hit rock bottom the other week and tried to OD didn't work just ended up in hospital for the best part of the day. I got with my girlfriend when she was already pregnant and raised the child as my own as she wanted nothing to do with the real father. We had been together a year and a half and where engaged as well. Then boom come november I get called into work to be told i'm being made redundant, I then have my girlfriend tell me shes been considering leaving me because things don't seem right in the relationship. She goes up town and then pictures of her over another guy appear on facebook when i ask about it she says "its your own fault you should of come with me". Middle of december she chucks me out saying its over for good i'm away for one night before shes on the phone telling me shes made a big mistake and wants me back. So i come back and we go through christmas like one big happy family then boom shes chucking me out again, I go and stay with relatives in Peterborough and two days later shes seeing if I want to go see her. I travel to see her and find a condom in the bin to which she responds it was a drunken mistake on New Years Eve! again I forgive her and she says she wants me back but wants to live seperately for a couple of months. So i fork out £800 to get a roof over my head to go round yesterday only a week back in Leicester to find on her laptop messages to her two ex boyfriends inviting them round, asking them to come on webcam and see what shes wearing and talking about there sex lives and one even goes as far to say he'll smash me up if I try and get involved with them....yet this girl wanted me back to try and make things work seems like it. So i've shelled out £800 for a week and now all I can think about is leaving altogether I've recently just got a months supply of Citalopram 30mg and got plenty of Nytol all in one which shouldn't be took with anti depressants but i really couldn't give a **** anymore. I'm fed up of feeling like everything is my fault i've been treated like a door mat and to make matters worse £8000 in debt with no job so i really can't go on.
  2. brunswick

    brunswick Active Member

    hi, it's good you are here
    you've given so much of yourself
    it's no wonder that you feel used and frustrated

    take the time to appreciate yourself
    what you have done
    how much you have given
    you may have hit rock bottom
    but it seems to me that you are a rock
    and didn't break

    what you're feeling seems quite justified
    and all you need i think
    is some time to sit back and realize that

    i believe you can find your way back
    it might be hard and slow
    but it sounds like you're a fighter
    you've taken on so much
    and it seems like your girl just expects you to always be strong

    you are strong
    hang on in there
    it will work out
    just don't let things rush you
    or push you to do anything silly

    you are strong
    stronger than you are feeling now
    give yourself time to lax and feel the strength come back
    it's ok to feel this way
    it will pass
    you will be strong again
  3. mbrace

    mbrace Member

    i've tried so hard to make things work but she doesn't care! I'm staying with relatives at the minute but i'm just clinging to the hope she realises what she has lost, i just don't understand why i would want to go back yes i love very much. Even though i'm away from her all i can think of is how much better it would be with nothing to worry about i hate having the thoughts i'm having just can't see any other way
  4. brunswick

    brunswick Active Member

    if you want her back

    work on yourself
    get a job, any job
    you can always change jobs if something better comes along
    pay off your debts
    save your money
    be simple, spend only what you must
    work towards getting your own house
    learn to be strong
    and not crumble when things go wrong

    don't plead and beg her to come back
    but let her know your love is forever
    and you will be there for her if she needs you
    let her know you know that your life right now
    is not good enough
    for you, let alone for her and her child
    you can work on it
    you can do this

    work on your life
    find the strength in yourself
    focus on yourself
    but keep in touch with her
    tell her how you are progressing day by day

    i believe she will come back soon....
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.