Back to School...lonley and sad as ever. How do/did you cope?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by suicide_machine, Aug 26, 2008.

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  1. Well in my area its back to school, and like the years that followed im back to my mood of hate for everything and everyone, lonliness, and emptiness. Unlike everyone else, it seems im the one person who is 100% not excited in anyway at all to go back to school.
    My guess is that people cant wait to see all the old friends, be around people, and make new relationships. But my problem is i don't see my old friends because i never really had any, i'd rather be alone most of the time, and from my 12 years of experience in school i've noticed i never get into any relationships.
    I go to school everyday with this mask, i never tell anyone that i feel this way, and i don't because im afraid that i'll be mocked and teased. I act as if im happy and content with life, though in reality im not. I want to be left alone, but at the same time i have the need for companionship, as every human does. But i can't seek it because im not social enough to talk to new people, or even enough to seek advice. Im alone everyday after school, and i do nothing but sit, stare at a wall and think. I feel at this rate im not going to live past 21, and if i do it will be a future of stress, remain depressed, and be alone. And honestly i'd rather die.
    So i guess me reason for being here is i just need help, how do you guys do it, or did? Where did you go for help, and how can i cope? Is this even normal, i mean i see all these people so happy and i can do nothing but hate and envy them because its never going to be me.
  2. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    I thought I was reading my own post there for a second. I hate EVERYTHING about school and I can't find one single thing to like about it. I am terrible at coping with school and I would not recommend the things I do. Sorry I suck at advice when it comes to school and sorry for not helping.
  3. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    School..Well my school life was really mixed. It was ok from Year 7-9 (Except from the bullying but I sorted that) And then in year 10, that is where I went downhill. My friend got me to talk to my tutor about my problems and then I got a counsellor.

    I felt the same as you, so I thought "Fuck it" and skipped school a lot in year 11. Needless to say, it fucked with my GCSE's a bit, and yet I still passed. So I aint going to mess up college in the same way.

    Anyway, my point is that you don't have to cope with these feelings on your own. Are there any tutors or teachers you can talk to at school? Maybe just someone you really get along with/like. It's hard but if you can talk to someone you will lose that hatred towards people, because you will be happy too.

    Take care sweet :hug: xx
  4. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    suicide machine you are so not alone with that...that's how i felt about school for a bit, but then i changed schools and things got better, i made friends and i was pretty well liked by everyone; but of course i still had reasons to be low and i, like you, used to mask my feelings with a smile. No one would ever guess just how low i really was. Now i've left school and i'm kind of glad that it's done with but i do miss certain aspects of it. I met my best friend there, and she is so wonderful.

    Now summer's over and it's time for me to start college now. I'm pretty sure i'm going to hate it. I'm terrified. And i'm not AT ALL looking forward to it. Not one bit. I don't want to go, my friend says just go and if you really hate it you can drop out but i don't know. I went to the enrolement thing yesterday to confirm the courses i want to take, and i wasn't even planning on going, and it was weird, but not as bad as i thought. Nonetheless i don't want to go there. Ever. I've told my social worker and my mum, but my mum says i should try it and my social worker hasn't said much about it =/
    I know that if i do go i'll be so scared, so many people and i'm such a shy person i know i won't make friends easily; and even though my best friend's going there i'm scared she'll find new better friends and then i'll be alone :( plus i don't want to start pretenting to be alright again...makes you feel even worse.
  5. Someone

    Someone Active Member

    I'm amazingly scared about 6th form
  6. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    I didn't really have lots of friends in primary school. Actually, I didn't have any. I was a loner. Then in secondary things changed because everyone was new and I could start off again. Or well mostly - I went to the same primary and secondary school. I'd say hang in there. You say you've been at school for 12 years, so that means that it's nearly over. And anyways, life really starts once you leave school, methinks, not while you're in it.

  7. bb564

    bb564 Guest

    You're not alone there, I never wanna go back to school. I hate the thought of it. I hate everyone there, I hate my teachers, the crap they teach us. What I will tell you is, it's never even half as bad as I think it's gonna be when I go back!
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm a teacher and I think school can be a pretty good experience for students. I've done a fair bit of substitute teaching and I've been in schools that were just awful, but the majority of the school were really good and the students seemed pretty happy. Good luck to everyone whose going back to school next week. :smile:
  9. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    I've never liked school at all either, and my pseudo-friends I have there are not at all some people I would rely on or go to if I were in trouble.

    I've also learned FAR more stuff, and FAR FAR more stuff I care about and can use out of school than in, and I've done it in FAR FAR FAR less time than school takes. In the time of about two school days, I learned how to build a computer from buying components to OS installation. In two days of school, I rarely learn more than what the homework is.
  10. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Chances are there are other people in your school that feel the same way. I know it seems like you're the only one, but there are bound to be other people hiding behind similar masks who are in your position, or similar.

    I know it's not much consolation, but you're not alone. Take care, and as other people have said, maybe you could talk to a teacher or someone about it? I hope this term goes better for you.

    Lauren :hug:
  11. thanks everyone for your input. its comforting to know someone cares, even if the slightest concern. and i hope anyone who is in the same position as i, cheers up.

    im sure there are a handful of people at my school who, just like me, feel alone and miserable. but in my eyes i see everyone more happy than i am, and i envy them so much. i just feel like pretending is just doing nothing but making things worst for me, because the second i walk into my room i just cant help but feeling like i just lied to everyone.

    there are a couple of friends that i talk to outside of school, but im afraid if i talk to them about how i really feel they will be different on how they act towards me. this is just something that has been extremely difficult for me, even to write it makes me feel to defensless, and open.
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