back to the bad place again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by vbuk, Apr 17, 2011.

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  1. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    Ok so i feel really stupid, ashamed and embarrased now. When i came back on here a month or so ago i boasted on how things were going good and how i had overcome all the demons i suffered with over the past 10 years. But now its all bad, its all gone wrong. Work is horrid. We have a good team of 6 but now not one of us wants to be there. They have told us that we will be opening sundays. Even tho we are in a city that is so very quiet and we wont do the business. So everyone at work is very angry. Especially my boss. It is just a sad place to be right now. Also over the past few years our treatment from head office has gotton terrible. I always tried to find the good and evan defended them. But now i finally realised i dont deserve to be treated like crap, especially for how little they pay, so have decided to apply for new jobs. The past week has been hell. It has dragged me right back to where i was. To the point where i could only think of one way to get out. I planned everything, even down to who i would write notes to, what i would say. I have been such a horrid person too. Its made me lash out at those i love. I hate what that place has and is doing to me. Theres very little work about. Everytime i go to work i leave feeling like im not worth anything. Im suck. Just really feel like writing them notes. It feels like the only way i can get out of it all.
     
  2. NotAnotherUserName

    NotAnotherUserName Banned Member

    Hey,

    Hope your feeling better :hug: It seems like work it tough, don't quit straight away, find a job, get it, then quit. It seems as though work is very stressful as well, exspecially if it's causing you to lash out at people you love. Do you oppologize afterwards? Please don't hurt yourself, their is a wider option around you please keep talking to us, allow us to support you and help you, please keep reaching out to us, just please don't hurt yourself, we are hear to listen please keep talking to us here. Drop me a PM if you wish to talk!

    Xx
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    We all fall off the wagon...it is time to forgive yourself and know whether things are good or bad, you can deal with them...we are here and you know how much you are cared for...J
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Don't give up vbuk. I hope you can find a better job.
     
  5. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Talk to the other workers about a union perhaps?

    If not, if there was no actual union rules for health and safety and holidays and a choice of working Sunday, I'd look for another job also.

    IF you are going through a bad time, you could always sign off on the sick or something. Not ideal but could be a bit of a respite for you. Depends how much you earn now.

    Nothing worse than being treated like crap in work. Had a few squabbles in my time and left a few jobs on the spot. Of course, depending on your responsibilities you might not be able to do this.

    My regards mate - hang on in there and maybe you can get along with other workers on the this team so that you can bear a couple of months of it whilst you look for work hopefully whilst your in work! Might as well make some use out of it.
     
  6. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    I just dont want to be there. Thought about going on sick but just cant afford to. Same with walking out. Just cant do. My manager is off today so im running the shop. We had a bad week last week so might get a phone call about how bad we are. Im always scared to answer the phone on a monday morning. The thought of going to work is making me feel sick
     
  7. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    This gets worse everyday. Feeling really low. I finally admitted to myself and my bf that i have been trying to ignore for quite a while now. I think i could be pregnant. I just feel it. I just cant deal with it, i dont understand how people that have no jobs afford to have kids. Im petrified. Feel like my whole world is just crashing down. I was doing so well. Im so scared. Scared to even be alone. My bf is upstairs and yet i feel panicy to be alone. Just want everything to stop. Just cant see a way past throughthis. Im sorry
     
  8. MissMisery

    MissMisery Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear that I'm from hull too and mental health services are terrible eh
     
  9. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    Dunno, never used it. Jusf workthroughstuff without help.
     
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Oh sweetie I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling so much right now. But it is going to happen. You take tons of baby steps to move forward. And you are going to teeter and take the odd step backwards. But you have moved forward. And with help and support from your boyfriend and your friends here, you can move forward again. Please dont be so hard on yourself. I know things around you suck right now. But maybe try some of the things others have mentioned. You need to concentrate on YOU right now. Work will be there good or bad. But if you dont look after you, then you will need to work so hard to try and get back to where you were.

    As for the pregnancy scare.... dont worry until you know for sure. You get yourself out there and buy a pregnancy test right now. If it's negative then you can stop worrying. If it's positive you need to start taking care of yourself and line up a doctor appointment a.s.a.p. Sometimes just added stress can cause our bodies to react in ways that disturb our systems and cycles. So please get that test and know for sure :arms:
     
  11. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Hiya, Its good that you came here as it would not have been good to write them letters and follow up. I am very happy your here :) well, not that your going through a bad time, but glad you came here as your having one.

    I am also from the UK and know how the system can not care. I gave up on using the NHS to fix my problems and now use this place. I find it more friendly and it works for me.

    I think a new job is great for you. try to stick at it and don't feel like your letting them down by leaving... Maybe they are doing the same thing.

    if ever you wan't to talk PM me :)
     
  12. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    Ok so i took a test. It was negative. Now i just feel numb. I dont know, i guess it was for the best. Im just sat thinking. I dont even know why or what to do. Head is just all over. I feel sick. I dont know.
     
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