I'm just another person in this world that feels helpless. Thanks to a certain favorite band of mine, I would never ever do anything, but I can't help the thoughts and the longing for the end. I'm devastated with how my life is going. I feel so helpless... I have one best friend (which is all I need) and I live with her to escape the emptiness that I feel when I lived at home. My father passed away when I was 10, left me with a crazy mother, who hits me still (I'm 21 years old being treated like I'm 5). I can't stay there, so I moved from New Jersey to Las Vegas. This town had done nothing but bring me even further down, especially when about 2 years ago I tried so hard to find a job and just couldn't, no thanks to the stupid ass economy. So, I had to go back home to New Jersey, went to college again, and failed everything. It wasn't for me and the only thing I want to do in my life is music. It's always been music. My best friend had made friends that were in a band and they said that they would be touring soon. So, I came back to go with them. When I got there, one of the members' grama was ill and he had to go back to his home state to be with her until her final days. So, the tour was put on hold. Then, another one of the members went to a different band. And now, we're moving to Galveston, Texas. They said that IF they are touring again, they'll pick us up there. But... I just feel like it never will because that's how the universe works for me. Anything that I have ever wanted to do like this, it has never worked out. And I'm stuck now... I love my best friend so much, I'll follow her to the end of the world. But all I want in my life is music... and it's so unreachable and I have no back up plan because that's all I have ever wanted to do with my life. Doing something else would be like cheating on my dream. I'm getting so tired of not getting to where I want to be. I'm just so done trying with anything. It's leaving me so empty. What do I do? What can be done when the one dream I've had fails?