i am sorry you feel like i was trying to make you or others feel guilt or whatever... i am not in any way doing that and i am sorry if it feels that way okay?
its not you.. its me,, see i made more mistakes by even posting that because now it has caused hurt for you and others thinking i wanted to throw a guilt trip upon you or others.
im stupid okay.. i dont know how to post, to write, to do anything cause when i do i either hurt others intintionally or screw up some other way. its me that feels backed into a corner.. its me that feels unloved. not you or anyone else.. i could have a million people love me and i still may not feel it.. the choice is mine.. the desion is mine and mine alone.
i am dealing with family problems, emotional problems, health problems.. it has all come onto me in a big pile and i cant handle it anymore.. i just cant.. im tired of fighting.. i cant do it anymore.. so im going to go to just me God and nature. im going camping soon.. i have to just get away. its all just too much. bible says the Lord will not put more upon you then you can bear but i have gotten more then that, its like double even tripple, i cant fight emotional pain, physical pain of cancer, family problems, feeling unloved, uncared for, feeling like im backed into a corner. all this together is too much.. so i got drunk and i cursed online in my post. i was dis-respectful and probably hurt a lot of people here and that hurts the most knowing i probably hurt others here and im sorry.. i am so sorry.. if i hurt you or anyomne. im so sorry. im just stupid.
i dont think the way you all do.. i dont understand the way you all do and that is why i cant do anything right.. i posted my feelings and now its like i made everyone feel guilty?? or laid a guilt trip[ upon you.. what else am i going to get accused of?? how much longer can i handle all this?? i cant, i just cant and im sorry..
hazel, gentlelady, everyone.. im sorry..