Well the last couple of days, after surving an attempt, I was feeling a little better. Maybe there is hope i thought... what a fool i was. I decided to tell the one person i considered a "friend" about how i was feeling. you know a little moral support to keep from sliding back into the abyss. So anyway i tell him i tried before and was still contemplating and you know what the fucker said?: "if you do can i have your car?" I was fucking blown back. I didnt think anyone was THAT cold. so i told him that i wasnt fucking joking and im seriously suicidal. and he replies "great, you go and do that, just make sure you leave me your car in your will." needless to say i left at speed. I mean seriously, who the fuck does he think he is? That piece of shit bastard. doesnt care about me at all, hes just in it for personal gain. Fuck. any progress ive made from not trying again is totally gone now. that fucking asshole. fuck anyway, i just needed to vent a bit. hope you dont mind.