Backing Down?

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by wallflower, Apr 14, 2011.

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  1. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    I met with the campus officer today, and she seemed to think I didn't have a very good case or good enough case to go to court. So I decided that I wouldn't go through with the court procedure because of the emotional torment I would go through, and of course people seemed to want me to go through with it and get those people in trouble for raping me. I even wanted to go through with it for all those women who've been assaulted. Am I a coward? The main thing is I've been suicidal, as some can see...I'm not sure I want to send them to jail. They didn't attack me, but they were intimidating and cruel, and exposed me and humiliated me when I tried to get them off they just kept going...until finally they left. I'm angry, but not enough to go through hell to put them in jail. It's an evil world.

    I think they knew they could get away with it...
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    When things like this happened to me, and they have, I ask myself after much crying and some healing, how do I make something good come from this...is there some club or such you can form at your college to raise the awareness of these issues and protect other students...maybe you can win that way...J
     
  3. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    You're totally right, going through with the procedure would likely be extremely stressful and traumatizing for you, even worse if you don't have a strong case.

    You are not a coward. You did the only sensible thing there was. It's commendable that you would go through with it for the principle of it, but as you said in your post, you likely don't have enough evidence to make a case.

    I'm very sorry that you've been forced to go through this. The fact that the perpetrators of this heinous crime have gotten away with it for now makes things infinitely worse.

    I really hope you're okay. Stay in touch.
     
  4. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    You are not a coward. Our system of justice is built so that the victim is often treated worse then the assailant. I would tell you that you should press charges, but that dear is a personal decision. I can tell you this, I never did. To this day I regret not doing it. For me now there is no point. They are dead now. He has been dead for 14 years and she died 5 weeks ago. You dear are not a coward, but I do think you have been given some poor advice. Only you can make that choice to re-subject yourself to all of this again, but you will regret it later I would think. They may not have carried through with it, but they were testing the water. I think they were probably trying to gain the courage to go through with it. They might not have then with you, but they will with someone more then likely. Having an attempted... assault on their records will go along way in the favor of the prosecution if and when they do gain the courage in the future. It's easy to be angry, I understand.

    They might get away with it, anything is possible.

    If you decide to go through with it, try and have a personal support structure in place. :hug: s to you.
     
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