So everything seems to now be back to how it was so many years ago. I'm trapped in this household with all the fighting and hostility back to what it used to be, and it's because I am here. This isn't one of those 'blame yourself for everything' posts, I know that my being here is the reason for it. It might be melodramatic to say that I'm cursed, but my existance seems to cast a shadow over everyone. I'm in a situation where I need to be productive, need to move forward, just to survive, and everything seems to be dragging me backwards. And I can't go backwards any more, I cannot survive it, my mind is a broken fucked up mess right now. So what I know will happen is I'll close right up again, and end up doing even more damage to myself, which at this point will kill me. There's only so much any individual can take, and I'm at my breaking point. Sorry, I tried to be positive, I tried to push on, but I can't. I couldn't there, I can't here, and this was my last chance. I think I'm done.