bad counselling appt.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by wonderer, Dec 10, 2007.

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  1. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

    I just got out of a counselling session and I feel worse now than I did before I went. A lot. I was going to wait until finals finish to kill myself, but now I don't even know if I should bother waiting. A few more days and I'll have everything I need.
    I'm dragging my ass to counselling because I feel hopeless and don't see any other options. All this lady has done is tell me that unless I'm willing to try something else, I'm going nowhere. I KNOW that, thats why I'm there!!! But I don't see any other options. I NEED SOME HELP, and she's not helping. I don't think anyone can. All that leaves is this, or dying.
    And she keeps saying she thinks I don't feel things - that I'm numb. I feel fucking everything. Not just the bad, the good stuff too. I really do, I just am REALLY good at hiding it cuz it hasn't been safe for me to have emotions. So while I'm sitting there uber happy about something, or sitting there hating someones guts, there's no difference in my expression and my mannerisms. No one gets that. No one believes it. I don't want to feel anything anymore, and I'm tired of being trapped.
    I don't even know if I can wait til the end of the semester now... I want to die now, as soon as I can. I just want this to end.
  2. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    Don't give up hope yet. It sounds like this counselor just isn't right for you; that doesn't mean you can't find someone else.

    I've had bad counseling sessions and bad counselors, and I know how frustrating and depressing that is. It took me years to find the right person. I know that's even more frustrating to hear, but believe me, it's worth the time and effort.

    Surprisingly, you can find a lot of therapists in your town on the internet. You can read their profiles and about their approach.

    Friends, family, or acquaintances can also recommend someone, and though it's difficult to bring up such a topic, it could be helpful.

    I'm in the middle of finals, too, and I know now is not the best time to decide about a therapist change. Please try to get through these next few days. Do things that are relaxing like stretching and listening to music. Post on the forum. Watch silly videos on youtube.

    Once the exams are over, give counseling another try and find someone who can really help you. Such people do exist.
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    There are times you will leave a session and feel worse than you did before. When forced to face things it can seem overwhelming. If you don't have faith in your counselor then you should start searching for one that you can not only feel comfortable with, but have faith in. Change and healing doesn't happen overnight. It can be a long process that requires hard work. No one can do it for you. Don't give up. You have come this far. :hug:
  4. urban_lily

    urban_lily Well-Known Member

    counselling is hard work and, especially at the start, will probably make you feel worse (it did with me). Like has been already said, if you're not happy with the counsellor then change to a different one.

    Maybe she's saying you're numb etc because you have become so good at hiding how you are really feeling....thing is, she doesnt know this unless you tell her....she cant get what's going on unless you explain it.....they can help but they arent mind readers so you just need to try and spill everything out to her....I know this is difficult to do and I find it hard to do myself but the healing process can be a long one and you need to be honest with the counsellor and yourself in order for it to be most effective.

    Good luck :hug:
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