not a very good day so far, agreed to take a pause of sorts in my thoughts/plans yet its so hard. the pain won't take a pause, its still there niggling away at me. she came home from work and all i wanted to do was touch her, hold her. tell her i love her. i wanted to hear her tell me she loves me. but i know it won't happen, all i hear is the silence, all i feel is the pain with every beat of my heart. hopefully tomorrow will be better, god i hope so.