I ended up ploting my demise the whole day today because of one thing that didn't go my way. You know that voice in your had that tells you don't do it, and then you do, and then you are like how the $% did the voice know. I hate the fact that that voice knew before it happened. I should have listened. It's just so @#%% frustrating. I'm nothing, I'm like a robot that has to listen to god dam voices, is that god? It's like I have no will of my own anymore. Life is turning out to be much worse then I imagened. I don't know how people live with themselves. I cut my leg preety badly, it's swollen, so bad that it will show forewer. I feel like a little child that doesn't get his way and is bitching about it. You can't undo past mistakes and that's very painfull.