My cat died. He was only 6. I don't have the energy to write about details again. I did on my blog. But it has pushed me lower than I thought possible. I am not going to go and kill myself over a cat. But, it's making me have some serious stupid thoughts. He was brought for me by Gom my ex after I attempted suicide the first time. He thought he would cheer me up and give me focus. So I am having stupid thoughts like well, he's gone now. It's a sign.... Stupid I know. He didn't live with me he stayed with Gom...reasons explained in blog. I feel bad for how emotional I have been about it. Guilty of my feelings for some reason. I feel like I am being stupid and have no right to them as I have not seen him in a year. Also...it has put me back in contact with Gom. I couldn't really ignore him like I usually do and we have sent a couple of pleasant emails back and forth. So that's got my head in a spin also. It's so stupid.