I have good days and bad days...today is a bad day. One of those days where I hate myself and I don't feel motivated to do to anything. I don't feel like eating. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to go anywhere. I don't feel like doing my homework and I dread going to class. I just spend the whole day curled up on the couch. Not even watching TV, just lying there, crying, trying to sleep through as much of the day as possible in order to avoid a breakdown.
On good days, I feel okay with myself. I pretend that things are getting better. I get up and go running, call my friends, sometimes even enjoy going to class.
I recently went through a really bad period for several weeks where every day was worse than the one before...I had a terrible breakdown nearly every day. I felt like I HAD to kill myself because there was just no way I could go on living.
The last week or so, though, was surprisingly good. A few good things happened, I'd been getting out of the house, spending some time with my family and friends. I actually thought things were getting better.
But today has been horrible. I've been feeling shitty and suicidal again.
I was diagnosed with depression several months ago but chose not to take any medication for it. Was the last week just the world tricking me into thinking things are better, or could I be bipolar?
Sorry for the long post, but today has definitely been one of those days where I feel like I just can't go on... :blub:
On good days, I feel okay with myself. I pretend that things are getting better. I get up and go running, call my friends, sometimes even enjoy going to class.
I recently went through a really bad period for several weeks where every day was worse than the one before...I had a terrible breakdown nearly every day. I felt like I HAD to kill myself because there was just no way I could go on living.
The last week or so, though, was surprisingly good. A few good things happened, I'd been getting out of the house, spending some time with my family and friends. I actually thought things were getting better.
But today has been horrible. I've been feeling shitty and suicidal again.
I was diagnosed with depression several months ago but chose not to take any medication for it. Was the last week just the world tricking me into thinking things are better, or could I be bipolar?
Sorry for the long post, but today has definitely been one of those days where I feel like I just can't go on... :blub: