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bad day

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#1
I have good days and bad days...today is a bad day. One of those days where I hate myself and I don't feel motivated to do to anything. I don't feel like eating. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to go anywhere. I don't feel like doing my homework and I dread going to class. I just spend the whole day curled up on the couch. Not even watching TV, just lying there, crying, trying to sleep through as much of the day as possible in order to avoid a breakdown.

On good days, I feel okay with myself. I pretend that things are getting better. I get up and go running, call my friends, sometimes even enjoy going to class.

I recently went through a really bad period for several weeks where every day was worse than the one before...I had a terrible breakdown nearly every day. I felt like I HAD to kill myself because there was just no way I could go on living.

The last week or so, though, was surprisingly good. A few good things happened, I'd been getting out of the house, spending some time with my family and friends. I actually thought things were getting better.

But today has been horrible. I've been feeling shitty and suicidal again.

I was diagnosed with depression several months ago but chose not to take any medication for it. Was the last week just the world tricking me into thinking things are better, or could I be bipolar?

Sorry for the long post, but today has definitely been one of those days where I feel like I just can't go on... :blub:
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#2
Try the medication hun, it takes about 2 weeks to kick in but it should make you feel better.

If it doesn't then we think again.

Post so I know how you're doing.
 
#3
I understand I'm going through a similar thing

http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=18079

I would not recommend medication, you may become too reliant on it and I just think it's not the way forwards.

I wish I knew how you could beat it, because I want to aswell, I think acknowledging you have this problem is a positive step.

May sound rather corny but whenever I get those suicidal thoughts creepng in, a line from 2pac really hits me, "I once contemplated suicide, and woulda tried/ But when I held that 9(mm), all I could see was my momma's eyes". I live for my family, I am lucky to have a loving family, thats something alot of people on here would kill for - but it still doesn't stop the pain I feel. I see what my mother has sacrificed for me in her life and my death would make that worthless, and I don't want that to happen.

Try and think of people around you - everyone says theres is no-one - they may even be dead, but these people want the best things for you, and thats not ending it all.
 
#4
I too resisted meds for a long time. If your doc thinks you need them, then I would give them a chance to work. As for becoming too reliant on them, well would you withold insulin if you were diabetic because you might become too reliant on it? Just because you go on meds for depression doesn't mean you will be on them forever. Sometimes we need a little extra help to get us through the toughest times. Then we are recharged and ready to face things again.None of us like the feelings depression brings our way. I hope you are able to stay safe and get through this time and the others that may come your way. Please keep us informed as to how you are doing. We care. :hug:
 
R

Raven

#5
Meds can be a good thing, just be carefull with them. Sometimes they can make the condetion they are trying to help even worse. Wish I could be more help, but good luck

~Raven
 
#6
Try the medication hun, it takes about 2 weeks to kick in but it should make you feel better.

If it doesn't then we think again.

Post so I know how you're doing.
Yes! please do so.... :hug:




You can PM me anytime you need to talk hun and I am sorry you are having one of those days, they aren't very fun, unfortunatly.




:hug: :hug: :hug:



~Carolyn
 
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