Bad Feelings

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by blindinpink, May 22, 2009.

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  1. blindinpink

    blindinpink New Member

    I've been looking around here for quite some time now, just reading threads and the replies that are left. I've tried to convince myself that I don't care about what others could say, but I do. I'm just so upset in this moment that I think I don't care. I fear I will be judged and people will dislike me as much as I do myself. I fear they will criticise my actions and lay the blame on me. I feel like I'm being disrespectful. There are many people here who are so strong and brave I feel my story doesn't belong. I constantly battle my thoughts and what I know is right and wrong. I feel disgusting and vile, I feel like a prostitute. At the same time, I know I shouldn't. I was just a child. I don't understand how I can feel this much guilt if I never did anything wrong. I'm sick of how I was betrayed and how I hurt but most of all I'm so angry that somebody can ruin my life even when they haven't been a part of it for years.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    There are a lot of strong, brave people here (yourself included). I really hope you post your story.
  3. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Strength is in the ability to survive the horror; courage to reach out and tell someone you can trust, bravery the ability to act even in the face of fear.

    You have already survived - you are strong.

    You have already begun to reach out - you have courage.

    The next step is taking the action needed to heal from the pain that wasn't even your fault. The fear and shame, guilt is only your way of coping. Coping that will take bravery to work through. I encourage you to reach out and find someone to work through this with you.

    You are more than what was done to you and it isn't your fault!

    Use the anger you have to say - the monster who did this won't succeed in forever dominating your life - you will overcome and free yourself from the past. Keep posting - there are people around who can give you support.
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