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bad girl

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by Violette, Nov 20, 2016.

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  1. Violette

    Violette Well-Known Member

    i read somewhere that this helps... talking about whats going on and @crumbum suggested that I should do this.
    So im doing it nd trying to b calm while i do nd crum I am tryuing ...

    for the last 4 years my father has been htting me, evr since i got home from boarding school. it startd really slow like he would gt cross nd then push me bt t kept on getting worse. its st the point now where he picks me up by the neck nd thows me agaisnt thte wall nd kicks me when i fall down. ususally he gets mad with my mom nd theen he finds something to fight with me about nd i... i guesds i havent learnd to shut up so i push his buttomns more nd then get the sht kicked out of me. mom hides in her room whn he gts mad (or shes passd out).

    the thing is tht i cnt help but feel lke i desrve it coz i push his buttons nd he is under soi much presure at work, so th last thing he neeeds is my shit u know? i guess i also wnt his attention nd this is the oinly wy i cn get it i guess? fk... tht mkes like no sense evn to me... bt its tru. idk why i ffel lke this nd it kills me coz i do, its lke i need to feel soemthing tht ive done wrong nd i need to gt punisd for it. I guees its lke why i cut nd th same reason why i need him to ht me... idk...

    i miss my dad... the one who used to hld me nd mke me feel dsafe bt he s my dad nd i love hm. i wsh i hd oine of thse familys tht u see in the picturs whre they r all happy nd normal bt i havnt gt tht. i hve wht i have.

    i cnt go to any one about ths mostly coz of my brother (hs 8 nd my dad doesnt touch hm) i dont wnt to get broken up if we get tken away. bt also my dad hs alot of moneyu nd i knw he will fight it so i dnt hve th confidenc to report it to anyone
     
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    *hugs*

    Please tell someone about this.
     
    DrownedFishOnFire and Violette like this.
  3. Violette

    Violette Well-Known Member

    @Rockclimbinggirl idk who or how its so complicatde nd i wont put myu brothr at rsik
     
  4. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Tell a teacher or talk to a hotline
     
    crumbum likes this.
  5. crumbum

    crumbum Well-Known Member

    ((((Violette)))) You are so brave posting this. I'm so proud of you :) Keep writing as long as you feel safe and it helps. I agree with rockgirl, you should tell someone about this, but I understand how complicated and frightening this all is. However.. if the abuse is getting worse and worse.. please do not wait much longer to find a way out of it. You told me he becomes sorry and tries to make up for it, you told me he was like a different person when he beats you. One way to look at this is that by telling someone, by resolving this issue once and for all, you might be saving him from the regret of permanently hurting or even killing you someday. This is a really serious situation, and though it might feel almost normal to you at this point, it is very serious and dangerous and it's very unlikely that it will end well unless you eventually take some action. I'm so worried about you sweetie. Keep writing in here, talk to others who've experienced abuse.. together we'll all find ways for you to get help and do it safely. ((((Violette))))
     
    IdontMatter111 and Violette like this.
  6. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hey Violette, please get help before it escalates further, I know it's scary and you love your Dad, he needs help too, to find out what's causing his violence to his family. Speak with someone at school like a counsellor and get direction in what to do, they're trained in This sort of thing. Be safe my friend
    Brian
     
    Violette likes this.
  7. crumbum

    crumbum Well-Known Member

  8. Violette

    Violette Well-Known Member

    thnak u all for the responses..... it is good? to tell someone nd let people knw how i feel...i will meet with the shcool psycholodist when i can go bck to school crum
     
  9. PhoenixFailed

    PhoenixFailed Survivor of 2016, Fighter in 2017 SF Supporter Study Facilitator

    Violette,

    You are doing so well with telling a very difficult story. You are so brave and strong for doing so.

    It does not matter what you do, your father should not abuse you like that under any circumstance. It is not okay. I worry that you are describing real escalation. I am glad you are going to talk to the school psychologist.

    I am not sure where you are, but laws here (U.S.) would try to keep you and your brother together if they removed you both from the home. Do you have any extended family that might take you both in? I know it is scary to think about, but it sounds like you do not have either parent functioning as they should.

    I understand your fears about your brother. My little brother is eight years younger and I almost did not go to collage for fear of what might happen to him. In the end, I knew I could not provide a good life on the run with him, so I went and kept in very close contact and we both made it out.

    Please remember that you are not to blame for any of the things that happened to you. Each adult who hurt you made that terrible decision. Nothing you did or do can cause that to happen. You are a good person. You are not to blame. You are precious, wholesome and good. The evil does not belong to you.
     
    crumbum likes this.
  10. crumbum

    crumbum Well-Known Member

  11. Alice Matthews

    Alice Matthews New Member

    I think you should tell someone about this situation apart from your mom as it is clear that she herself is helpless. It would be better if you confide in some other members of your family so that they can help you out in this situation. My friend too faced similar problem so she confided in her grandmother who got some legal help (fr.mappy.com/poi/50adb37884ae2742a004c8b6#/0/M2/TGeoentity/F50adb37884ae2742a004c8b6/N151.12061,6.11309,2.27737,48.86395/Z8/) over the Internet.
     
  12. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    www.hotpeachpages.net has a world-wide list of domestic violence/abuse resources.

    If you have a good relative (grandparent, aunt, etc.) you might be able to stay with them.

    The situation is also bad for your little brother, because just living in a household where there is violence is harmful to him. It's probably also just a matter of time before your dad gets to hitting him too.
     
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