just recieved some really bad news. i probably destroy the next three year of my life, and i'm going to be remembered of that everyday. and let everyone on my family down. now i'm just sitting in front of the computer, hoping that my parents don't ask me if i got the results. and all i can think is that if they don't and i don't make thru the night, i won't have to see them so disappointed. just cutted myself, trying to get some control over myself, because i'm not going to cry. and i take three painkillers, they kinda of make me don't feel anything.