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Bad person

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Pepe, Aug 24, 2008.

  1. Pepe

    Pepe Member

    I like to read through these forum and think about what kind of post I would write. But today i realized that i really don't want to comment on anybody else's post. I have no kind words to give or anything else. In real life i behave the same way. For me conversations with other people are about what kind of things i say (are they funny, interesting etc.) and what the other person says is meaningless. The only thing i am interested in the other person is his acceptance. In other words i am not interested in other people and what they have to say. I have noticed this part about me before, but i always thought it was because I have a very bad case of social phobias. But when i read these forums i see people with similar or even worse problems than i have and they dont seem to have problems offering support for others. I live in my other little world where there is nothing else except my own problems and nothing else is real or important. Then i go on bitching and moaning how i have no friends even though i obviously am a total douchebag with mental health problems.
  2. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    you are not a bad person and you dont have to empathise with or reply to others posts.... when you are trapped in our own shit it is hard to have energy for anything or anyone else. maybe when you reach a place where you feel better in yourself you can offer advice to others?
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You dont need to offer support and advice hun. But dont ever shut yourself out and feel that you dont deserve support and advice from members here. Mental health issues are so hard to deal with because they usually bring out the worst in a person. Then you feel badly because you arent who you want to be. Nobody is judged here and everyones problems and pains are just as important as the next person. Hang in there Pepe and keep posting to let some of the frustration out. Hope that you feel better about yourself soon cuz you really arent a bad person just a person with bad mental health issues.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    There may come a time when you do wish to support and help others, but when you are in the center of turmoil yourself it can be very difficult. Some people find comfort in doing what they feel they can to help, but it isn't suited to everyone. It does not make you a selfish or bad person. Know that we are here to do what we can to help support you of you want it. Someday you may choose th return the favor. :hug:
  5. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You're not a bad person. There's no need to feel guilty or anything. I can relate to what you're saying somewhat. What I crave for most is another person's acceptance, and sometimes I find myself saying the same thing like in my head I'm saying I don't care what this person is saying at all.
    To feel another person truely accept you for who you are I think is important to a lot of people, if not all people.
    But first you have to accept yourself.
  6. bb564

    bb564 Guest

    You're not a bad person. Most people are like this, they just don't know it or they don't admit it. The fact is, most people don't give a fuck about you, or anyone else unless there's something in it for them. I've learnt this lately, my "friends" haven't called me or contacted me for around 2-3 months, and yes, I have tried contacting them, which used to work, but now doesn't. It's not like I fell out with them or anything they just gradually stopped even pretending to care. This probably doesn't sound that bad, but for someone like me who's used to going out pretty much every weekend(and most days in the holidays), this is pretty shitty.

    I know exactly what you mean about not being empathetic at all, trust me, everyone is like that.
  7. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    I'm kinda the same way. Acceptance is just a basic neccesity. Sometimes, i dont even know the right words to say to make that person feel better, which kinda irritatates me, because it seems everyone else has no problem finding the right words. Just stuck in my own little word i guess, as you said you are. But doesnt mean you're a bad person, its just hard to help others when you feel like you can't even help yourself, or are just too focused on your own problems. i know i am.
  8. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support


    First, people who are truly uncaring usually don't see it, or, if they do, they don't care that they seem selfish. You do care, so I think something else is probably going on.

    I'd bet you're being too hard on yourself. In my own experience, I've found it's very hard to give to others if I feel empty, sad or not part of the group. Lots of people retreat into themselves/their own issues when they are hurting. Sometimes it's self-preservation. We just don't have the energy or don't feel that we could help, so we stay where it seems safer - inside ourselves.

    "Acceptance" by our peers (the people we associate with or want to associate with) is important to everyone. Wanting to connect and be accepted is part of being human, IMO. It's also human to feel unsure about being accepted sometimes and to get caught up in the uncertainties to the point that we don't pay as much attention as we could.

    Sounds to me like you're doing some self-exploration. You can accept what you like about yourself and change what you don't think is good - in your own opinion and in your own way. We are all works in progress at any given time.

    Cheers and smiles to ya!
  9. Pepe

    Pepe Member

    Thanks to all who replied to my post. Reading your replies really made me feel better about my self. Its also nice to see that I am not the only who feels this way.
  10. bb564

    bb564 Guest

    Glad you've been helped :)
  11. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    I've always lived in my own little world, and only picked up a few friends I don't really care for along the way. I really couldn't care less about people, but somehow when my mouth opens only caring words come out. You're rarely as bad a person as you think.