bad thoughts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rattlingthoughts, Sep 27, 2014.

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  1. rattlingthoughts

    rattlingthoughts New Member

    Each day I wake up I have never ending thoughts of wanting to harm myself permanently. I don't necessarily want to die but the thoughts won't leave my brain.

    I recently spent 6 days in a psych unit for safe keeping. I had two great days and they let me out this past Wednesday. However, I have regressed and am feeling quite hopeless.

    I suffer from bipolar disorder and have tried therapy, drs, meds, and hospitals and still these thoughts come on strong 1-2 times per year.

    I honestly feel as though suicide is inevitable so why prolong it any more?

    Any words of wisdom are welcome.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. The most important thing to do is to remain calm, which easy to say. You have joined a forum where people understand and can help you. Please do not anything that will cause you harm. Just take one day at a time with the support of this group. Keep posting your thoughts for care and support.
  3. GreySilence

    GreySilence Well-Known Member

    I've only experienced a strong desire to harm myself a couple times in my life. And I have hurt my body a little.. but I'll try to give you what advice I can, even if it might not be the right advice.

    I think you should try to figure out something you can use as a means to quickly escape those feelings. It might be a song, an object, an activity, or even a person that can calm you down. Drill it into your head, that you need to go right to that "thing" when you're feeling like committing self harm. I've escaped negative thoughts many a time thanks to some really calming, uplifting music.

    Not sure about your taste in music, but stuff like this calms me right down: Chata's sweet and lovely, soft voice~

    Anyways, I hope you can find that something that helps you overcome those feelings.
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    don't commit suicide just because you have thoughts of self harming. do you have a friend you can talk to about these thoughts? this would be a better option.
  5. rattlingthoughts

    rattlingthoughts New Member

    Thanks all. I think finding a happy place is a great suggestion. I will try to envision one next time the thoughts become intrusice. Music does also help me when I am in a bad state. Unfortunately, I revert back to the music that reflects how I feel vs how I want to feel.

    Today has been a good day. On a scale of 1-5, five being manic (I'm bipolar) I am at a 3. Which is pretty even keeled and level. I hope this mood stays. Perhaps the higher dosages of lithium and Abiliify have finally kicked in.
  6. rattlingthoughts

    rattlingthoughts New Member

    I do have friends I have reached out to but honestly I dont think they truly understand where I am coming from. They mean well but in the end I dont think they can help since they can't relate.
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