Bad Thoughts

I wanted help. I had never looked for it before. I had no idea where to go. I ended up trying the first few suicide help chat rooms that Google offered. You know it's a bad day when one suicide chat room is empty and the other is closed. Guess you're not allowed to want to kill yourself after midnight, or at least seek help for it. Which sucks, because I keep looking at my wrists more and more, knowing there's a knife in the kitchen drawer which can get the job done. Or a handful of the Pain PM pills chased with alcohol. Is it bad that I have multiple ways of doing myself in? <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>...

It's amazing how looking at something so simple like a thumbtack can get your mind thinking about some pretty nasty stuff. All it would really take is one sharp object, and I could just not worry about how bad I mess up everyone's life anymore.

I know what it feels like to have a loved one kill themselves. I know what it does to a family, how it rips them apart sometimes. Yet my mind still sees it as the best solution to everything going on right now.

 

Hi you your mind can take you to some awful thought and places i know it does get scarey. I am glad you are reaching out here okay together maybe we can keep those thoughts at bay. Talk to your doctor as well okay let know how sometimes you just don't feel that great and perhaps your meds need to be changed a bit hugs to you

 

Yes, please speak to someone about how you are feeling...also, checking in to see how you are doing today...big hugs, J

 

Why don't you sit down and write out a pro list.. When your thoughts drag you down go to the list and pick one to work at..You need that positive train of thought to kick the negatives to the curb..I have had suicidal thoughts for over 20 years and I get up each morning and address them.. I have worked to hard to let them control my life.. I've been really down for the past two weeks but I get up and deal with it..I hope you find a positive path to follow..

 

Thank you all. I guess you could say I'm doing better. The days are always better than the nights. It's like my brain has a switch that goes off after 10pm and it decides it doesn't want to be positive anymore. I internalize stress and take on more problems than I can handle. I know I need to seek medical help, but my parents don't know how bad the problem is and I have no idea how to bring it up in conversation. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me.

 

Can you talk to a coucillor at your school or your doctor even Your parents would want to know okay so they can help you get you the supports you need to feel better Talking is important okay so please try to tell someone anyone your trust how you are feeling.