Around my birthday for about 5 years now I had ended up in hospital after attempting suicide. This years was the same I took a overdose and ended up in intensive care at the hospital. I kind of have intense flash backs and feel guilty and ashamed around this time. I didn't do the suicide attempt to really end my life it was done as a way of excaping the pain and hurt I felt. It seems I like creating or recreating truma for myself at times but i know I cannot keep doing these attempts. At least I'm still Alive.