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bad weekend

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sadhart, Jul 7, 2013.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    For the past few months I have been able to work steadily. I live with my aunt who is almost 90, yet acts like a jerk who just constantly pushes my buttons. for years she will asks for money for the most mundane things. then, she will turn around and "forget" what I have done for her.

    to make things worse, my other aunt ( my mother's sister) came to visit and went into my room, moved things around, calling herself "cleaning" all of this while I was at work. this ended up turning into an argument. the melodramatic bitch my mother's sister is kept pushing; and I fell for it. the aunt that I live with didn't help...she is so ungrateful. I do and I do. I give her money, bring food into the house, yet, it doesn't matter.

    I am done. my mother's sister says i should just leave. okay....i will leave....through taking my life. I am tired of hurting and being scapegoated. I'm sorry for rambling.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry you are going through this...there have been many times in my life where I have been generous with no thanks from the other person...in fact, two people tried to ruin my life...so now, I give without expectations...if you can leave and it is best for you, please move out and make a life for yourself...you are a giving and generous person, the type this world needs...so please stay with us...with caring and understanding
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, I also know what it feels like to give,give,give..and get no thanks or very little in return. Believe me, you do not need to end your life over this, change your life, if you have the money get a place of your own and hopefully one day you will meet the person for you,who you can give to and receive. Good luck to you and remember we're always here.
  4. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    well right now, leaving is just not feasible. it doesn't matter anymore....it never has nor will it.
  5. Neverforget

    Neverforget Member

    I don't know how old you are, but I remember feeling that way when I was living with an insufferable mother. She was emotionally/physically abusive and as I got older, I got a job, started bringing home the money all the while seeking for her approval that never came. The thought of taking my life came often, but the hope of living a better life someday without her lording over me kept me going. When I was 23, I moved thousands of miles and never looked back.

    Today she tells me she misses me. I have forgiven her for my own sake, but whatever! I don't want a relationship with her.

    Hang in there. It does get better and someday you will be able to move out and create a family of choice like I did.
  6. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    the thing is that I am not a good person, but unlike some in my family, I am always working on improving. but does it matter? no....and it's obvious it never will. the problem is when you lose hope, especially when you didn't have much left to begin with, you start to question what your purpose in life was to begin with or if you even had one at all. sorry for rambling.
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