So here goes. Basic background information - M, mid-thirties, married, kids. I lose my job. I either have to go out of state to find a new job in my field, or I have to change fields. I've always wanted to go into law, so I take the LSAT, get admitted into a local law school, and start attending with the goal of graduating and becoming a lawyer. The problem is that this shifts the income responsibility to my wife. We talked about law school (one doesn't "accidentally" go to law school), how difficult it would be for both of us, how we needed to do this in order to have long term financial stability for the family, etc. We went into this eyes-wide-open, or so I thought. On top of that, my wife and I were already having marriage problems. The first year of law school, what's called 1L, is a pressure cooker. The saying is that in 1L they scare you to death, in 2L they work you to death, and in 3L they bore you to death. People break down crying in the hallways or library. It screws you up. It breaks you down mentally. If you've ever seen The Paper Chase (1973), that's a good depiction. And the workload - the workload is 12 to 16 hours a day 6 to 7 days a week if you want to keep on top of everything. It was tough. Made it through first semester, got good grades (grades are everything and are curved in law school, another source of pressure). The marriage problems my wife and I had before law school were amplified by law school. The low point was late February when my wife had a massive verbal fight. I cried that night, letting out the pressure of law school and my disintrigating marriage. After that, my wife and I pretty much stopped all meaningful communication. She's angry and resentful that she has to work so hard. The other consequence is that my depression and suicidal thoughts, which had been in remission since my late teens, came back with a vengeance. I almost attempted that night, but a plan did form in my mind, and I carry that plan around with me. In the 4 months since that fight, that plan has become like an old friend, a fallback position. If I don't pass my classes (which at one point I was in serious jeopardy of doing), there's always The Plan. If I don't make either Moot Court or Law Journal, there's always The Plan. The Plan. It sounds like a bad movie. Thanks to my study group and some damn hard work, I managed to salvage some decent grades from this semester. Missed Moot Court, will find out about Law Journal in the next week or two. One year (the toughest year) down. Two more to go. But all of that doesn't change the fact that my marriage may already be over. I'm really broken up about that; I don't make friends easily at all. Maybe 1 or 2 that I would actually call a friend. I have plenty of acquaintances, no real close friends. I'm also terrified of what will happen when my wife and I do split up. She can be a mean and vindictive person, and I have no doubt what she'll tell our kids when she gets custody (she will, so long as I'm a law student). I don't think I could take my kids eventually seeing daddy as "the bad guy." I don't want to lose my best friend, but it seems that I can do no right as far as she's concerned. The ebb and flow of emotions is incredible during this time. I left my CrimPro final (last final of the semester), and all I could do is drink, then fall asleep for a whole day. I was certain that I had failed most of my classes - ConLaw, CrimLaw, and probably Employment Law. I just felt like ending it all right then. Then I found out my grades about a month later (just very recently), and I was on cloud 9. Right until I wasn't invited on Moot Court. All of this sounds like petty complaints of a student who didn't get the grade he wanted, but you have to understand that grades and school clubs like Moot Court and Law Journal have a tremendous impact on your ability to 1) get a job as a lawyer, and 2) impact your salary. Those on both Moot Court and Law Journal make approximately $20,000 a year more than those who were not their first year. There is a very real possibility that I could graduate in several years several hundred thousand dollars in debt, with no wife and kids who hate me. That's a horrible future to face. I just don't see the point of it all. Not right now, anyway.