Discussion in 'Welcome' started by bad, Aug 31, 2013.

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  1. bad

    bad New Member

    I am Bad. Have experienced child sexual abuse by multiple perpertrators, emottional abuse, physical abuse, breast cancer, 17 surgeries for the cancer, narcissistic sadistic mother (primary abuser), extortion ($70,00 by TheMother), charges filed by TheMother for elder abuse (all dismissed), No Contact with TheMother, overdose, PTSD, major depression, recent Dx of DID. Can not take it any more. Do not know where to turn. Can not tell T cuz then she would need to act on it. Need help ... wonder ... where does the help come from. Those we have turned to for help have caused great harm (parents, church members, doctors, surgeons, hospital programs, family, ... no one to trust.) Little ones scared. Very scared.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun sorry what you have been through you are NOT bad hun no it is the ones that harm you that are bad I know you are afraid but keep talking ok here we will not harm you
    You tell your T ok what you are feeling you deserve help hun ok hugs
  3. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Welcome ... none of you are bad not any of you we understand we been through abuse ourselves its hard to tell someone we hurt but your T is there for you
    Please tell some one you are all feeling this way
    Please hold on
  4. bad

    bad New Member

    Can not tell T

    Must not say what is felt. Only leads to bad outcomes. Very bad. Experienced great harm when spoke of abuse to Dr in front of 20 therapists. Told case manager experience caused great flooding flashbacks. She said was a choice to speak. We thought cuz was #1 psychiatric hospital would be safe ... Wrong. Was our fault again. We caused our own trauma by agreeing to speak to Dr. Chu in front of all the staff. They said it would be helpful for them to know about DID. We did not know we would be interrogated about abuse history and have to defend our self then dismissed and want home. Could hardly drive. Next day told case manager and she said was choice to talk.

    One dr say all parts must be present for sex ... Horrified ... Would be child abuse in our mind. Couple days later asked program pdoc she said NO LITTLE ONES MUST BE PROTECTED AND SHOULD NOT BE PRESENT.

    One do for said do not check in with parts feelings and body sensations even though self feels nothing. Pdoc said NO MUST ALWAYS CHECK IN WITH PARTS IS CRITICAL TO HEALING.

    At exit meetings told case manager conflicting information was hard to accept. She replied in life you are faced with conflicting opinions and we must decide what is best. ... WTF

    case manager reported to T on Tuesday that we are oppositional.

    T said they are wrong and must let this go. Parts can't let to cuz do not understand. Our part Bad says he was right. Never should have shared and made self vulnerable. Is best to be silent. So we can not tell anybody anything anymore. Stuck ... Hiding in parts again.

    Bad et al
  5. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    We are so sorry that you all been hurt like this and i have a link for you that might help you all it s a forum for people with DID
    your parts can post there any time they want to there are parts of the forum for littles and some for teens
    i hope it helps you some am a member there

    Only thing isnt you cant post about suicide there they just tell you to contact your T

    We have never trusted a professnal enough to tell them in detail what happened to us and we decided that we never will
    We are sorry your trust was betrayed

    Keep talking here
    We care about all of you
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