Its new years just turned and im feeling really down and upset. I dont like the person im turning in to today my myms cousins came over i dont know why but i wasnt nice to my mum at all today and i scared the crap out of my mums cousins dog i dont know why i did it.all i did was pull a funny face at the dog (i know it was a childish thing to do) the dog was so scared by the face i pulled it wet the carpet. after all what my mums cousins did for me in the past and thats how i repay them. im also sad that im just wasting my life away and there is so many things in this world i fear im so insecure about alot of things i guess i take that out on others. new years resolution is going to be about me trying to become a better person its not just the above things that makes me hate what im becoming its other small things like there are times where i do not feel any emotions at all like if theres any awfull news like a killing or someone gone missing i feel nothing then my head tries to kick in and tell me how i should feel by thinking things like "thats sick" but on the inside i just dont feel anything at all. one of the therapists i was seeing said that she thought i was emotionless as i never showed any of my emotions. i just dont know what to think but i do know iv got alot more work to do to become a better person.
