BadDay.

[Elle.]

I hate those days.

Nothing goes right and it starts the SECOND you walk out the front door. Something stupid like getting a sleeve stuck to the door handle or whatever. Then you know that you're about to have a bad day.

When it ends with me not being able to get my home work from my school locker because some asshole poured some sort of sticky toothpaste stuff all over my locker..... that's when I know I had a really bad day.

Where did it get this bad where people hate me so much they actually acknoledge the fact I'm there instead of just ignore me.

Why do people not want to be around me SO much? I used to be popular, happy, flirty, positive, even pretty and well dressed, slim and healthy.

Now...

wtf did I do to myself. I pierced my own ears a couple of times, I wear the first clothes I lay eyes on in the morning, I hardly shower, I have pimples, I wear long sleeves to hide scarring, I skip a lot of classes, I get shit over my locker and said to me.. I feel anxious ALL THE TIME

But WHY ? I don't even have a reason..... wtf is WRONG with me ?

 

[total eclipse]

You are depressed that what is wrong with you You need to get some help on some medication to help you cope therapy someone to talk to. Reach out get some help okay stay safe

 

[morning rush]

aww I'm so sorry you had a crappy day. Those days suck ass big time! but then we go to bed and then next day is a bit better...

do you have a therapist to talk to? that could help...

anyways everyone has bad days....but then there's good days too....wishing you tons of those in the future:IrishDoll:

 

[Elle.]

Thanks for replies

No, I don't have a therapist.

I know there's some random councellor in school and I've talked to him once, but I don't want to see him it scares me like nothing else :-s

 

[total eclipse]

I know opening up to someone can be very scarey but it helps to talk to someone who can give us some direction some new coping skills. Can you talk to your doctor maybe medication is needed thats all. Keep talking okay as it is the only way people can help you Good for you reaching out here

 

[Elle.]

Yeah I suppose you are right. I've tried medication, had anxiety pills but no one knows about it. I want to hide everything from especially my family. That becomes quite a lot more difficult when I want to start seeing someone.

But yea I guess you are rigth saying I shoudl open up. I just don't know how on earth to do that.

 

[cloud9]

I've had a great deal of trouble opening up to people myself too. I still really don't do that. You're definitely not alone in this regard. Suicide Forum provides me an outlet fortunately. Its just hard to look someone in the eye and tell them all your problems, what bothers you and such. But its a necessary step. My sis has been trying to get my to see some sort of therapist. Just the idea of opening up to someone is awkward and nervewracking for me. I hope you find the courage to do so! Good luck!