Hey everyone, Not sure how this works but I just googled suicide support groups. Anyway, I am not feeling so well to put it lightly. Thinking about death every day. Recently moved to a new country with my wife. Couldnt find a job for a while. We were hungry and broke and alone. When I finally did get a job after about ten months something in my wife snapped. She lost contact with reality and started seeing things, hearing voices. Been trying to get help for her for 2 months now, but we keep getting referred and referred. I'm at a job that has me down because it's hard work that I don't like. I'm 24 years old, grew up in a very religious environment and never had the room to develop myself or my ideas or dreams. I studied the first thing I was okay at and dont even have a job in that field. Remotely. I feel like I lost all of my dreams before even being able to pursue them in the tiniest of ways. Now I feel like I lost my best friend too. When everything sucked before my wife was there through it with me. Now it feels like shes never quite here. Never really present. My dad has always been absent even though he's never left, you know the old story. My mom is a covert narcissist. We live in the same country but I cant confide in them because my wife already feels watched and embarrassed. I also cant confide in them because when I told them I was suicidal at age 12 (having moved to a foreign country and being so utterly alone) they told me it could not be that serious and sent me to boarding school to "fix" the problem. They just generally ignore bad things or try to fix them like that. I am so exhausted from working all week and coming home to my wife staring out the window and periodically not making any sense whatsoever. My future doesnt seem like it will improve. The only thing that makes me feel anything (nowhere near positive but more positive than anything else) is imagining suicide or leaving my wife, cheating on her, leaving everything behind and becoming homeless instead. I don't know what to do or who to talk to. I'm broke and tired. Yup.