Empathy Only bah

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
#1
Takes courage to post this.

You can take this post like a pinch of salt if you don't understand, I hate posting thread but I need. I hate posting threads, like I would know I won't get any replies... And expecting to be banned when I do public rant but either way... I just think its effective when the admins are very patient with me to delete the posts that are offensive and still lets me rants, 💕

why does my brain still thinks I don't deserve support. why doesn't my brain allow me to show my vulneranle site that everytime if I did, it will also be everyones problem. its not that im angry for no respond.. altho my therapist&counselling kept saying I have a lot of desire to lash out, which i love but i havent found better coping mechanism that either way I probably want a platform that i can do public rant with audience or sthsthsth...,

something.... im running out of people to talk shit about... its boring... yet i need to feed this.
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Admin
SF Supporter
#2
@HappyKitty — sounds like your mind has gone into a bit of a spin. I’m sorry you’re feeling like lashing out. You haven’t said anything terrible in your post yet, so this won’t get you banned. :)

Take care of yourself and stay safe!
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
#3
Brains are smart, but also very stupid at times. I hope it helped you to make this thread and well done having the courage to do so.

I hope you feel better very soon.
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
#5
I realised I need at least 5hrs of sleep lol. My mood gets worse anything less than that I guess. Cat. I had nice sleep. I really need to learn to nap again. 😸
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
#16
Relief today, did magnesium and B12 blood test again after many months not did till theres inflammation and while waiting for results, gotten new painkiller like arcoxia. 😸 Also, the GP has always been kind off offering other alternative I could do massages/drink electrolytes sport drink.Ive been losing a lot of minerals these days.🥺
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
#17
@Acy Thank you for always letting me rant. 💕😸 Eventho.. most of it doesnt mean anything hahaha im most genuine when im calm i guess.
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
#20
Anyway aside those, aside excuses or labeling, somedays I just feel very disrespected and I feel I have enough of that like I'm not going to encourage jokes during serious times anymore. Its really hard to say what you feel about others or what they say is wrong and nobody wants to take responsibility about how they have hurt me. Its getting out of hand to the point I can't expect apology from you no matter how much you have hurt me and now my brain is just giving me decision to either just let them go like an adult do, or give them bounderies. Is it so wrong to wanting to be heard or voice out my own opinion??? I'm not human is it ??

Like do you honestly think I deserve to be treated like dirt? Enough is enough. I have been most easily angry at people that the minute I sense people are trying to take advantage of me or if they are talking about themselves. And I know everyone has their own issues but even being snide has to draw the line. I have kept quiet about my health issues and others and just in real life as well, people be barging in and wondering why I don't approach them when they don't even approach me. I shouldn't care too much about other people. I hate people who are like one sided, ignorant, rude and insensnitive. I have been patient, I've really grown to be fed up. Also up to this date, even after 5 years ++ my health issues is still not being taken seriously. You've seen in the image above, I dealt all those on my own. No ONE was there, can you blame me that I'm not bothered seeing other peoples emotions?

I literally had yelled a lot this week went "sorry, is it so wrong that I get tension headaches out of the blue and burden you with financial needs, is it so wrong that I have so many issues and am I really problemetic person to you whenever I ask for support? i am sooo sorry that I am THAT needy when I can't control symptoms that have inflammed so I have to be cancerous or big to join the BiG GIRL PROBLEMS??." I have enough of being pressured to live well, I am adult and making own decision now. No more "you cannot feel that way."

Including when I'm grieving I tell you. Its not respected and when I see other people grieve over someone, I highly doubt they have any "STRONG" emotional bonding with them, if so, how will you adapt to changes? This is how I can sense people being insensitive while I am literally living in it.
 
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