Balding... felt suicidal for years...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by nuage_fractal, Mar 31, 2011.

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  1. nuage_fractal

    nuage_fractal Member


    I registered on this forum 'cause I have never felt this low in my life. To make a long story short, I'm a little under 30 years old and almost completely bald, I have a speech impediment, birth defect in my arm, I'm short, have the worst headshape ever, have toenailfungus and loads of dandruff (seborrheic dermatitis), etc. The list could go on. I've felt suicidal for years (ever since I noticed the balding) but recently I've hit an all time low. I just can't take this shit anymore.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...for years I felt like the ugliest person on the planet...wearing black clothes so that no one could spot me, and usually going on in the dark, when possible...I have come to see myself as not genetically gifted in that way, but gifted in other ways...I am spiritually pretty which one might argue is much better...hope you find your beauty as well...welcome again, and know there are many ppl here who can relate to what you have said...big hugs, J
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Welcome. Stick around with us and you can walk through this. Dab your toes with a cotton ball soaked in white vinegar every day to get rid of the fungus. It worked on my toes.
  4. majorlynch

    majorlynch Active Member

    It can be hard to get through life if you're not satisfied with your appearance.
    Sadly, most people are not satisfied with their appearance.

    And the subject of going bald, whats wrong with that?
    My boss is bald, I have a few bald co-workers. Its nothing to be embarrassed about.

    Lex Luthor was bald in Smallville and he was a great strong confident character.

    I know what you mentioned is troubling but is there any other shit you're sick of?

    We can talk about anything you want here.
  5. nuage_fractal

    nuage_fractal Member

    What's wrong with going bald is that it makes me look ugly and older than I am. Going bald before you're even 30 is devastating. And yes, it is something to be embarrassed about, you'd know if you had experienced it in your youth. I've been balding since I was about 22, first noticed it when I was 23. It can really crush an already mentally weak person.

    Lex Luthor is an arch villain for Superman, infact most baldies are being cast as villains. That tells something about the look...

    I'm also sick of the facts that I'm almost 30 and a virgin, I have a speech impediment and I lack a finger, have toenail fungus and shitloads of dandruff. Other than that I guess I'm fine :grr:.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 1, 2011
  6. Florence

    Florence Antiquities Friend


    Baldness - you obviously hate it. Its horrid when we hate something about ourselves - I have horrible stretch marks that I can never get rid of and I hate them. I can hide them under clothes but it means I cant wear the sort of gear I would like to. If it helps nearly all the men I have dated were bald and my husband is bald and has been for ages. Have you thought of getting a wig? There are some very good ones out there and they are not like they used to be, not obvious at all. In fact you wouldn't know unless you were told!

    I could say all sorts of things about the things you hate about yourself but I know it wont change how you feel about yourself :(

    Being a virgin will be a real bonus when you meet the right partner.

    I am glad you are here and chatting. It is helping me and it is nice to be able to be honest about our feelings in safety.

    Hang in there with me ... I am right on the edge too but hanging in there too ... lets support eachother. x
  7. majorlynch

    majorlynch Active Member

    Pressure on people to sleep with someone by a certain age is something I always thought was wrong with our society. And its purely a hollywood thing, people outside hollywood, who aren't teenagers, don't really care. I first slept with someone when I was 26. Most adults would tell you they regreted rushing into it, or were pregnant as teenagers.

    It can be hard if your not satisfied with you appearance. But people don't see us as harshly as we see ourselves. It doesn't mean you should give up.

    Lacking a finger, you could us that as a conversation started, tell someone you lost it in a bet!! :smile:
  8. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    My cousin was bald at the age of 16. Hair loss is written all over my family's genes.

    When I was about that age, I started taking finasteride to counter it. I'm 24 now with a receding hairline that makes me fucking crazy.

    My genetics want to make absolutely sure I'm bald as soon as humanly possible.
  9. nuage_fractal

    nuage_fractal Member

    Yeah the feeling of not being able to do anything to prevent it feels just great, doesn't it? Just hopelessly watching while the hair on your head escapes... priceless! I've already tried finasteride to counter it, didn't really do anything. I'm thinking of trying it again just for the fuck of it. What have I got to lose?

    One more of my problems is that I have to take a shitty FULL-TIME job for the summer for the money and I really don't know if I can deal with it. I really don't know if I'll have the strength to work full-time in my current condition... I've been working part-time since January and even that has been stressful enough since this shit started like over a month ago.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 2, 2011
  10. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    hey nuage, i feel for what u say since am in the same boat, i feel to miserable to list what im living with, and it really is diminishing for the soul

    Feel i never got a chance at life solaly based on my looks (im female btw),
    Funny thing is it gave me a different view too
    I cant stand all the falseness and hypocrisy society has and makes me really apathetic about people (not just their attitude twords my looks).
    Am pretty sure ugliness is the last social taboo remaining.
    I did not hear one head on shoulders opinion about it my whole life. All people seam to be able to produce is either animalistic attitudes or standard hypocrisy about how its all about the bodyless soul and what a great bodyless soul u can be but refuse to. Im seriously yet to hear anything resembling soul down there when i get told the fact this source of isolation and abuse is not supposed to hinder my personality and they way i relate to people and treat them.
    And by the amount of stupid attitudes u can tell its a serious issue.

    Sorry to bring all the bad news but turns out it comes with minor to major health issues or imbalances most of times, they usually go unnoticed unless ur well off or a health freak....
    Thats kinda what sets the difference between average looking and ugly

    They way u describe yourself you probably should look into it, not just the fungus but other stuff that may lower your immune system.

    Ull find in history quite a lot of people got serious social issues solely based on looks,though it takes quite some research to find those
    spects of their life. As much as i see it takes a lot of egocentrism and cynism to overcome such issues.
    One of them is George Elliot and it marked her whole life, even if making her a great writes in an era when woman where supposed to be social and vulgar by great but she was pretty miserable.
    This being sayed some do make a liveing out of it
    Check out Andy Warhole s biography, he was ill as a kid and outcast and dunno if its mentioned in wiki but he was all gray at around 14 (he also appears with white hair in most of hes photos). Hes considered one of the fathers of modern advertising, and spent all hes adult life around celebrities, maybe due to hes fascination with fame and social icons.....all hes work is around that.
    But personally, by now, id have peace of mind any day over whatever world class achievements. Anyway i think ur lucky at least u r a guy.

    oh wanted to say good luck with the job, im also trying to get a job and hopefully take batter care of myself with the money
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 3, 2011
  11. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Twice weekly Nizoral massaged into the scalp and left for 5 minutes helps with dandruff - and hair growth. Get going. I suggest Scalpicin for the other 5 days a week though am not aware of any studies showing it's helpful with hair loss, but theoretically it should work.

    Nizoral should also help with foot fungus? There might be other ways, but Nizoral should do just fine.

    (I'm balding at 22 myself, am now being aggressive towards fixing it. If I don't find results by July I'm going to start on Rogaine.)
  12. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    To be fair ,being bald ,I dont see anything wrong with it.Ive had bald boyfriends in the past.
    I think you have body dysmorphic syndrome or whatever its called .I mean whats the rest of your life like ? being suicidal over being bald is a bit severe.
    Sorry dont mean to be nasty ,Im sure you are fine looking .
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 3, 2011
  13. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    My avatar is a greyhound because I am very underweight and I do get comments on it. I am also very pale- even more than your average redhead. I know painfully well what it feels like to be nowhere near the physical ideal. It is very true that we are far more critical and aware of our appearance than other people.

    Actress Daryl Hannah is missing a large part of one finger- she wears a prosthesis. Santa Claus is bald and he's no villain. Director Ron Howard and singer Paul Simon wear baseball caps over their bald heads. I may do that some day if my hairline recedes anymore.

    Please try to focus on being physically sound with a few problems. It is the rare exception for a person to not be contending with several chronic physical maladies. Please focus on the things you are blessed with like the people who love you and you can count on instead of what you don't have, okay?
  14. nuage_fractal

    nuage_fractal Member

    There isn't that many ppl who love me, I guess my death would probably concern like 10 ppl. Wearing baseball caps to cover my baldness doesn't exactly sound like a good plan does it? It doesn't grow my hair back, that's what I want, I don't want to hide it. I am physically fit and in good shape, but that counts to nothing with the issues I have.

    Nizoral didn't help me with my scalp issues, it made em worse when I tried it. It's way too rough for my scalp. Currently I'm trying another shampoo that worked in the past, but the situation back then was different; I suffered from oily scalp, now I suffer from dry scalp. So I'm helpless with this.
  15. nuage_fractal

    nuage_fractal Member

    I just took a look at your facebook profile. And all I can say is WTF!? If someone who looks as gorgeous as you is worried about her looks, what chance have we real uglies got?
  16. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Well, in that case, give Rogaine a try. Scalpicin may also be helpful, it works against sebbor etc. by a different mechanism than Nizoral, and theoretically could help with hair loss.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2011
  17. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    You know your attitude is appalling .people are trying to help and youre throwing it in their focus on your attitude and forget about your imaginary got more replies than me,a person whos seriously sick and desperate.and on top of it youre blaming someone else for being good looking.your problem is yourself not your scalp.pure ungrateful
  18. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Ease off the pedal there, Jeff Gordon. So the guy doesn't want to feel like he's hideous, and we're all sharing our experiences with hair loss. I don't see any problem in this thread.

    If you feel that you need more immediate attention than this person, maybe you should consider something with a more rapid response than a forum, which always moves slowly. This forum cannot and does not save acutely suicidal crises. All we try to do is prevent mild to moderately suicidal people from losing all hope (a forum of largely unskilled users is not prepared to deal with the acutely suicidal).
  19. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I dont know who Jeff Gordon is and its not about me.Its about this dudes attitude to those who are trying to help him.Just cos someones good looking doesnt mean they dont have serious problems.Im good looking and it hasnt been of any help whatsoever to me.It doesnt stop people raping and kicking you on the head.Ive seen loads of bald men who are very successful.I honestly believe.his life cant be that bad if all he has to worry about is hair.Buy a wig.Fs.
  20. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    I'm 33, short, bad teeth i was born with, virgin, few wrinkles, learning impediments when I was younger, social anxiety, nearsighted, and a few other things (like pain in my right-upper body). Most other people don't notice these problems like I do. But for me they were devastating. I'm also a weak person and when you're down and weak things that wouldn't bring a strong person down feel like an immense weight.

    I know where you're coming from. But as we cannot change these things we must learn to look on the bright side. There're ways past my deficits. There're ways past your deficits. Right now I'm down for hte count and not sure if I will recover. I have seriously thought that I might die. Not from suicide but something else. I"m not suicidal. I know that I am overthinking most of this because my life sucks and I have too much time to think about my failures. But anyway I just want you to know that there're many many men that bald young or get gray hair young or get wrinkles young. Some of us lose our virginity when we're young. Some lose their freedom when they're young or their imagination. There're many things we can lose. But once we've lost em we can't usually get em back. So we must learn to make lemonade. Are you with me? Besides, I think some women like bald men. Maybe you just need a friend.

    Also... my teacher was 27 in HS and he was partly bald.

    And one more thing. Males aren't normally attracted to themselves. So how would you know whether you look ok or not? I know I don't get a raging hardon when I look at myself. So anyway keep a positive attitude. The number one things iare to be in good shape and be what you're and have a career and a passion and to have love in your life.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2011
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