Ballad of a rape. "Triggering"

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by ItsOkayEllijah, Oct 8, 2012.

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  1. ItsOkayEllijah

    ItsOkayEllijah Well-Known Member

    TRIGGER...

    Conceal inside a petrified maze,
    Is an unmarked grave
    Of a man's love, a cynical rape.
    Reshaping a childhood with pain.
    Wilting freesia leaves commemorate the emotional stain.
    Rooted hands can not escape,
    "I love you" as my body takes
    all of his desires and shame.
    Leaving the soul in an unstable mental state.
    Charcoal fingers,
    slid down my back and into my legs.
    A bud forced to bloom in a single day.
    His claws ripped me open
    with a delicate graze.
    Innocence gushing through my severed veins.
    Seeping underground to it's final resting place.
    Tainted now
    But pure in his devilish gaze.
    Stone replacing a naive brain.
    Sadistic moans of yesterdays reign
    Fuel my hatred today.
    I am a statue of a mans evil game.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 8, 2012
  2. Emily Rose

    Emily Rose Member

    Hello,

    I read your poem and honestly, I am unsure of what your trying to say. Are you trying to scare the audience or give it a freaky meaning? This poem gave me the weird feeling of doubt and evil. Is this what your intentions were because if so you have success :) I write poetry but it's not like your's at all. It's alittle more positive. But you have good word choice. Keep in mind that it's not all about ryhme. Every poem has a story so make sure you get it through clearly without any confusion. Keep writing and see where it leads you. If your attempting the dark and evil mood then your doing great. Writing is a peice of you, so embrace it.

    ~Emily Rose
     
  3. ripples

    ripples Member

    Awesome, write more, sounds similarly depressive as my stuff.
     
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