Banging my head against the wall . . .

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Amage, Apr 19, 2016.

  1. Amage

    Amage Member

    I just want to scream. For the life of me, I don't know why people think it is okay to bully me. I "do" speak up! I "do" say stop. So why does this behavior continue to happen towards me?

    I work in academia. For the past 4 years, which equates to all of my years at this academic position, I have been bullied by the known department bullies. One was assigned to be my mentor, the other actively recruited me for this position. I finally gained the strength and self-confidence to interview for academic jobs elsewhere. On Friday, I was given a tentative offer which would become final once the reference and background checks were completed. I told my references to expect a call. One of my references said that she would hate to lose me but understands why I need to leave. Hello, I'm suicidal, depressed, and physically ill due to workplace bullying. Well this person who said that she would be my reference and wrote an excellent reference, tells me that when she spoke with the other university, she gave me a bad reference. In fact, she tells me that she went into the department's dirty laundry. What a POS!!!! The dysfunction of my current department has nothing to do with my potentially new job. If I'm not telling them, why on earth would she? Bitch.

    Needless to say, I have been devastated since I spoke with my POS reference this morning. Why on earth would she feel it is okay to do this? The reality is that I will be leaving the department after this school year, even if I do not have a job, and even if I have to leave in a body bag.

    I provided this POS reference with the reasons why I'm choosing this new opportunity. These were all true and all positive. She had no reason to add her unwarranted 2 cents.

    I hate her. What a POS. People in the department do not like her and I have been sticking up for her. NO MORE!
  2. bobbob

    bobbob SF Supporter

    Sorry to hear that having such a hard time with bullies at work. I hope that another opportunity comes along soon. I think there are laws about giving a bad reference. Might be worth speaking to your union if in one. Also any bullying if it related to being depressed etc might constitute unlawful disability discrimination under the Equality Act and might be able to take case to employment tribunal if in UK.
    Anyhow, good luck.
    Amage and Brian777 like this.
  3. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hi Amage, I'm sorry to hear how you're being treated, it's totally uncalled for. I agree with @bobbob i would pursue this as its obvious harassment. Hopefully you have a union if not try HR and explain the situation. Take care of yourself and don't let them beat you.
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  4. Amage

    Amage Member

    Thanks, bobbob. I'm in the states, but it is worth a look at what laws exist here.
    bobbob likes this.
  5. Amage

    Amage Member

    Thank you, Brian777.
    Brian777 likes this.
  6. bobbob

    bobbob SF Supporter

    Hi Amage. thanks for reply.
    I only really know much about UK employment laws but I do know that the Americans with Disabilities Act includes a prohibition against workplace harassment and bullying. There will also be other protections under non-discrimination law.
    Also worth noting that if u leave the job because the harassment and bullying in effect made it imposisble for you to stay, then this could constitute constructive dismisal. In others, it will count as the college having dimissed you even if you resigned. But there will be a time limit on making any claim. In UK is three months from time of alleged discrimination.
    If it would be helpful, I can look up the Americans with Disabilities Act for you. Though am not at best at moment, so advice might not be that great.
    best wishes
    Amage likes this.
  7. Amage

    Amage Member

    Thank you, bobbob, for the information and suggestions. I will look it up.
  8. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I'm really sorry you had to deal with that, some people can be truly horrible and I hope karma comes back to bite them... and for you I wish you the best!
    @bobbob came with some great advice, it's worth a look!
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  9. Amage

    Amage Member

    Okay. It appears that my Dean is telling my colleagues that I resigned. He's lying. I did not resign. I only asked him if he would talk to the Dean from the other University if she calls. I reported him to the provost office. I'm done with him.