Barely hanging on

[fam6236]

I am a complete mess and have been for the last year of my life. After leaving prison a year ago, I came home and faced the realities of life. I lived my life prior to incarceration in a fantasy land dealing in drugs and making lots of money. Everything was so easy then, no kids no worries in life, I actually thought life was a breeze, having all the free time in the world not working and just doing what ever I wanted, money just was not an issue. Well now at the age of 39 I am in a reality check and am hating life. I am faced with raising a child that was born while I was in prison and I have no work experience to go off of, its like I am starting all over. I feel like I am an eighteen year old who has to decide what to do with o my life. Working low income jobs after a life of luxury is no fun. I am miserable all the time and think of taking my life everyday. The only thing that keeps me hanging on is my daughter. I know I am paying the price for what I did in my past, but dame, life is one big struggle for me. Basically just do not want to go on any longer, need advice

 

[total eclipse]

It is hard starting over that is for sure but you can do it if not for you for your daughter. Get some education and get into a field you enjoy ok what ever that field is
You have someone to live for now not just you hugs

 

[flowers]

Thats a tough one for sure. Starting over. I really dont know your circumstances. So what I say may sound totally off base. But I will say it anyway. There are trades that some people can get into that can make a decent living, if the person has an aptitude for that. eg plumbing or electricians etc. Plumbers can make a pretty good living I think. And they dont have to lay out a huge amount of money to get certified or whatever they get. Or computer work. Some people can make a lot of money doing that.... I couldnt because I have zero aptitude for it. Well, for either thing. Suffice to say I hope you can find something that can make you a decent living and work toward getting certified or whatever in that area.... if possible. And I can only imagine how hard it is to start over after having been in a different world for so long. Glad you found this online community. The important thing is that your daughter have her father alive. it is a lot of pain that brings someone here.

 

[mark b]

Your new job is to look after your daughter. Whatever you need to do to ensure she has the very best care and upbringing possible.

Try to find work which you can fit in around her education or nursery if she is still tiny.

It doesnt matter what you do as long as she knows you are there whever she needs you.

You will both benefit tremendously from this. You more as so many dads would possiblg miss out on such a bonding experience.