BDAY in a few days, i'm pathetic!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lachrymose27, Jan 29, 2012.

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  1. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    my entire life i haven't amount to anything. no stable jobs.. i quit after 1 or 2 weeks. most was a years worth at a FUCKING RETAIL STORE! i'm close to thirty, holy shit. i'm such a loser!
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    You aren't a loser...I haven't done much in terms of work either. But that doesn't mean you will never find the right job for you and succeed. Just please don't give up on looking and trying :smile:
  3. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the reply. I dont know if i can keep trying. My depression bothers me and lately ive been screaming at random times during the day and smacking my head to get rid of the thoughts. Depression pretty much getting worse. Hard to live with this disease. Cycle is on repeat. Id like to get better. BUt it just doesnt seem possible
  4. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    I also find upcoming birthdays to be quite depressing. I can't believe I'll be a quarter of a century old in a few months and haven't done anything people my age have done.

    One thing that's really depressing me right now is that my best and only friend is a year younger than me, yet has a job that pays twice as much as mine. My brother is three years younger than me and already
    in grad school and he'll also likely get a job that pays at least 2x as mine, if not more. I am such a failure and my depression keeps me from wanting to advance in my life and just stay in my pathetic rut. :(

    I totally feel you. :(
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2012
  5. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I'm actually dreading my birthday too.....
  6. bipolar11

    bipolar11 New Member

    I hate birthdays.. I turned 30 last year and told myself if I wasn't better by then I'd finally kill myself... but I didnt and I'm still around... weak-willed I guess...
  7. BigTomTooToo

    BigTomTooToo Well-Known Member

    I'm Bipolar but Season Affective puts me in the valley of shadows every winter. Haha I haven't accomplished anything and I've only got one job before because I don't care to work for nothing. And my depression gets in the way of my ambitions so now I can't even complete college. I don't know why I'm posting on here, guess I just wanted to see who else on earth wasn't a happy movie star. Mr Negativity :0
  8. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    thats understandable. who knows, you might be all better a week from now

  9. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You are not a loser by any means, and happy birthday real soon...I am glad it is your birthday because that means you are here with us
  10. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. But you are not a loser.

    I'm 32 and haven't done shit with my life.
    Everyone my age is married and has kids.
    I dread my birthday too. It's always a miserable and empty day for me.
    I don't like getting older it also just brings to light even more of how much a screw up I am.
  11. Jungle420

    Jungle420 Banned Member

    You are not a loser, the system makes it difficult to find any dependable decent jobs, blame the system not yourself! You could'nt stick it probably because it sucked. I've never had a single job ever, im 22.
  12. BigTomTooToo

    BigTomTooToo Well-Known Member

    You're too hard on yourself. The system is harsh and there's too many 'expectations'.

    “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” - John Lennon
  13. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    thanks sadeyes, that was a real sweet thing to say. i'm trying to give myself a few more chances at life. if by the end of the month my depression is unbearable, at the highest peak, i'm afraid to cut it short.

  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you can spend your Birthday with some friends some family hun hugs toy ou
  15. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    You don't have to feel that way about yourself. If you feel like you haven't accomplished anything, then why not start now? Find a job you like, take some college courses, a little hard work and determination, will get you there. If I can do this, anyone could. I am so dog sick, I likely have one of the worst cases of fatigue a person could have. Pain is just the addition to the fun of that. But I am in my 5th mth of college with a 4.0 grade average. Why? Cause I am determined to do this, and I won't give up until I have my degree. Do I get depressed? From being sick all the time, sure as hell do, but that isn't standing in my way..

    I haven't accomplished much either, but I am a mother with 2 gorgeous children. If I never do anything else with my life, I did that. I am not going to look at myself though like I am a pathetic peice of crap or a loser, that is not a way you should be viewing yourself, regardless of the situation in your life.

    Mother's day was a bit hard for me. Wanted one day off from not having to run somewhere, just rest, cause i am pretty sick, and my daughter gets up and wants to go to the mall, well I told her not today, but that really made her mad, she told me what a pathetic mother I am, wrote me a mother's day card saying she hates me, my son is overseas (army), I didn't get to here from him. She let her cat inside just because she knows I don't allow it and the little shit took two dumps on my bed, on my victoria secret comforter of all things!!!!! I got a bit mad, then she gets upset saying I blamed her, and I didn't. The entire day was just bullshit.

    I learned a valuable lesson on mother's day though. you don't tell your child no when it's that time of month. lolol..

    What a day that was.
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