be who YOU are

Discussion in 'Self Care and Healthy Lifestyles' started by TJ, Oct 17, 2011.

  1. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    Be who YOU are

    In recovery, were learning a new behavior. It’s called Be Who YOU are.
    For some of us this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaption? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves?
    Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry? There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves. We realize we must liberate ourselves and their expectations and be true to ourselves- regardless of the reaction of others.
    Before long, we begin to understand. Some people may go away but the relationship would have ended anyway. Some people stay and love and respect us more for taking the risk of being who we are. We begin to achieve intimacy and relationships that WORK.
    We discover that who we are has always been good enough. It is who we were intended to be.

    Today I will own my power to be myself
     
  2. hornbeam

    hornbeam Well-Known Member

    I dont know who I am though - I have adapted to certain roles in my life and its a good way to be I think.

    The minute I start thinking Why should I thats when the trouble has always started..
     
  3. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    I completely agree with you, but it's easy enough to say it and there's always someone out there willing to let you know that you don't fit into society, whether it's a dirty look, verbal abuse or in some cases physical. The more unusual you are the more people will react to you (negatively).

    However it hasn't bee so bad for me...yet. Perhaps i've just been lucky or people are just becoming more accepting (unlikely). Anyway i look quite unusual i have long hair which i try to style like a womans, i wear glittery nail polish, i don't so much wear womens clothes but i do wear a very feminine coat, i think you can see where i'm going with this.

    Now before i started dressing like this i was terrified of what people might say, but what i did was i started off slow, first wearing feminine coats while at the same time growing my hair, as my hair grew longer i got a few jokes from work colleuges, i'm not sure if there were malicious but i never felt offended by them mainly because it felt more like a compliment, but this only happened for a few days and then stopped and the same happened when i started wearing nail polish, in fact people starting asking questions and taking an interest in what i was doing and i even got a few tips from women on how to improve my technique.

    Now that i've somewhat been accepted, being rejected by others seems insignificant because i know that a few like me the way i am and should something terrible happen i can easily change back to what i use to be, 'The invisible man'. I will say though it still hurts a little bit when someone gives me the 'you're a weirdo' look.

    I guess what i'm trying to say is, try and be who you really want to be whether it's a certain way you dress or act for a day or two and if it isn't has bad as you thought it would be then carry on but if it becomes overwhelming you can always return to safty, even though you have every right to be yourself.

    Now that i've revealed my secret as an effeminate man, i'm gonna go hide my head in a pillow from embarrassment, waiting for someone to tell me i'm weird.

    Hopefully one day we'll never have to worry about things like this.
     
  4. hornbeam

    hornbeam Well-Known Member

    Good on you brink ..:)