Bear with me (not litterally)

I know i'm probably going to upset a few people but i'm in a quandry! my gf's dad recently commited suicide and she is gutted as am I but I can't get over it. iv'e had my own problems in the past and have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder which doesn't help but I can't help but feel agitated by her fathers actions. may be because he succeeded where I failed or maybe because he's potentially knackered up my gf's life and also her families. he was not your typical stereotype for suicide, meaning he was sucessfull and had money, cars, stuff etc...in all fairness, he seemed quite happy but it's annoyed me by a rediculous amount because he never seeked help or let on his intentions, not even to his closest family. I have personally known and been close to 3 people who have took their lives and it seems i'm a magnet for it. i'm on medication for my own illness but these "incidents" put me back to square one, mentally. Maybe i need therapy, sent to the nuthouse again or even putting down. i'll make a vet's appointment. it just seems that when you get your life sorted, something pulls you down a peg or two. i'm not religious but if god exists, he's having a right laugh at my expense and if i do go to heaven, i'm gonna pull his wings off!!! sorry for the rant and the people iv'e probably upset by this post.

 

Hi and welcome...it seems like you have been through so much, and it is understandable to be angry when someone hurts another who you care about...yes, as you asked others to do, I will suggest to you that maybe therapy would be helpful for you to deal with all the losses you have been through...my condolences to you, your girl friend and her family...welcome again, J

 

Don't know why, but i've lost too many friends and family to suicide.
I'm totally out of it at the moment so i'm not the best of support. I just want you to know, you are not the only one the universe is beating up on. Sometimes it can help when we know we are not alone in something...I'm there with ya. I know it's not much help, but words are failing, all I can provide is to let you know i understand, i hate this for you and for me and for the others here, but all i have to offer at the moment is a **gentle hug** if you'd like.