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Beat down and fed up

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New Member
I'm having a really hard time with things lately. I've suffered from depression my entire life and some moments are worse than others. I'm 36, married. My husband has been out of work for 3 years and all of the financial burdens fall on my shoulders. We have tax debt that I have to start making payments on, our car is falling apart and I cannot afford to get a new / better one and my credit is bad. We live check to check and everything has been a constant struggle.

I have no joy in my life.. actually I don't think that I ever really have. There are moments were things are maybe a little more tolerable than usual. I feel overwhelmed and lost. I feel like this life is so pointless. It's just the same garbage every single day after day and I feel beaten down.

I feel angry that I never asked to be born yet I am forced to live this life. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't have the energy or desire to anymore at this point.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
I think you husband needs to step up and help if possible You are doing too much on your own Is there a reason he is out of work so long Can he not apply for even a small job to help out with payments I hope you have a therapist t hat can help you deal with all this stress one thing at a time okay Hugs to you


Well-Known Member
I'm very sorry you feel this way. It sounds like you deal with severe stress on a daily basis. You have lots of things to worry about. I think more elaboration and detail would help us help you.

Is your financial situation so bad that you're in serious danger of having no money, or of losing critical possessions?

It would be ideal if both you and your husband were working. Is your husband unable to work?

As for you taking care of yourself, it sounds like you're in a dangerous position. Depression mixed with financial and emotional turmoil can be a lethal combination--one impulsive attempt out of desperation is not uncommon in people who suffer from having depression while also being under severe stress. What kind of social support do you have? Do you have friends, family, etc., to help you out at all? Has anyone been willing to support you so that you can get what you need to function and work your way out of this financial crisis?
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