I've been so depressed lately. I'm a new member and can't post this in a section that may be more appropriate, so this will do for now. I suffered a herniated disc injury as a result of chiropractic treatment and have been having a hard time finding a lawyer to take my case. This has been a life altering injury. I used to pride myself on doing things myself-being independent-and now I'm totally dependent on my sister and mother. I have a hard time doing the things I used to like carrying my groceries, bending at the waist to reach into the trunk of my car (movements I took for granted). I'm angry. I feel wronged by the chiropractor and I wish I had the money to pursue a lawsuit. I feel like the justice system is designed for those with money. Without getting into more details about my injury, I'll try to make this brief. I have suffered from depression all my life but since May (when my injury occurred), I've spiraled into a darkness. I've been suicidal and having a hard time moving forward. I just feel hopeless and feel so damaged by this injury. I feel like a burden. I'm single and recently moved back to live with my mother. She is emotionally abusive when angry and doesn't understand depression. Things don't turn out in my favor. I feel really bad about myself and part of the problem is living at home, but I'm strapped for cash and feel trapped in the meantime. Lots of thoughts of suicide. I don't know how much more I can take from life. Any words of support and kindness are greatly welcome as I'm quite starved for that at the moment. I cry as I type this because I feel so helpless and alone. I don't have a partner and no kids. Makes it hard to have something to live for when I look at whether life is worth living. I feel a lot of shame talking about this, not the suicidal feelings, but just voicing my own feelings. It's like I don't feel like I have a right to speak about how I feel. That's been the message sent to me all my life by family ('stuff your feelings and shame on you for talking about how you feel'). Sure I've been in therapy and worked on myself and these issues and there are times when I feel strong but lately I've just felt so beaten down by life. Living at home doesn't help. Like things just haven't gone my way for a very long time. I look back on my younger years when more things went my way but as I get older that's not the case. I've written more than I planned, so I'll stop here. Sorry to burden you with my problems. I feel so much shame. Just want to hide and disappear.