Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Perishable, Nov 19, 2007.

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  1. Perishable

    Perishable Well-Known Member

    Two days ago my father beat me over a five dollar bill.
    Now, for those of you who know of my situation from the threads I have posted before. I have no love nor respect for my mother. She has tossed me aside and I have thrown her away.

    But, as the story goes..."I thought it couldn't get any worse"...

    My father has beaten me before. I am not talking discipline. I'm talking about a rage physical beating.
    Prior to getting beat,...Well, let me just tell you what happened. To not further more confuse you people.

    I was getting ready for work. I had just gotten back from the park from helping a friend with a grip of late homework. I am a very charitable person. Where I can aid, I go... So I was having a great day. I was able to get out of my house hold, it was a brilliant feeling!
    Well, When I got home I noticed the Van was not in the driveway, my father works grave yard and he is usually home by 1:00... It was 3:00 and I was due to be at work at 4:00.
    At about 3:30 he got home, he worked overtime.
    I was sitting in the living room, ready for work, waiting for it to be 3:45 so I could go. Out of no where he comes with a great look of anger worn on his face....exclaiming "Where is my five dollars!?!"
    I looked at him confused. Thinking that maybe he thought I stole money from him...and I said "what?"
    He was all "Yesterday I told you to get your money and you took more than you were suppose to!"

    ...That Yesterday he spoke of, I was running late for work and my sister was going somewhere so I asked my father if he cashed my check and he said it was on his desk, so I grabbed the money off his desk, gave my sister 6$ that I owed her and hurried off to work...

    He told me that he put 5$ more in that stack of money on his desk.
    So I said "Oh, sorry, I'll go get it"
    I hadnt spent my check money, and I only had I gave him a 20 since I had no fives. He followed me and hounded me. He was like "Why didnt you count the money? CANT YOU COUNT! Dont they teach you to count at mc donalds?"

    I said "im sorry...I was in a rush, I didnt know you put more money in there...I gave you a twenty, just give me 15$ back later"

    "But, I earned that myself, you dont give me money, I have to pay bills...I have to buy clothes, I'm in debt at school for a book and I need to pay that off to graduate...I'm saving for college...I dont get scheduled to work that much and when I do, I get like 3 HOURS!"

    "I cant...I need to pay stuff off... I cant afford to just give you twenties"
    "If you dont I'm going to take all the money out of your account!"
    (I have about 800$ in my bank account I have been saving for only 17, so the account isnt really mine..just under my name. He makes the withdraws and deposits.)

    "Dont you dare disrespect me...who do you think you are"
    "No, It's mine. You have a job, you have money."
    "Give me your money!"
    "What? You think I CANT BEAT YOU!"
    (Heres where I know I initiated it...kinda)
    "I have to go to work"

    So, he went and got the belt, and...well...yea... There is bruises on my thighs and w/e. But Physical beating does not hurt me. It was the principle!

    I wasnt crying. Even though he went fucking crazy and out of hand and my sister was in shock having watched it all.

    "Are you done? I have to go to work"
    I started to unlock the door to go in the car so I can go to work

    He grabbed me by the shoulders, turned me around, and slammed me against the wall.

    This hurt...My feelings, the one parent I thought I could confide in, had man handled me and defiled me...

    I shoved him back and ran crying to the restroom...The only room with a lock on the door.
    I could hear him saying
    I said "What the fuck...WHAT DID I FUCKING DO!"

    I never have cussed at my parents through all the shit I have been though.
    I have lost all love for them..

    He was yelling down the hallway
    my mother stopped him...
    "RaYmond thats enough"

    I finally got in the car to go to work.
    My mom told me that I needed counseling and I had an attitude and that all of that wouldn't have happened if I had just given my dad all my money.
    Then she said that I couldnt go to work and she was going to take me back home.

    I wanted to go to work...My mom was going to work and my sister was being dropped off at her friends house, I didnt want to go home alone with my dad.
    I begged her.

    "Take me to work, please, Im fine...Take me to work..."
    she said
    "It's all about you isn't it! You're so selfish"
    "All I want to do is go to work"
    "You shouldn't have said anything to your father"
    "Its not like you did anything"

    Then she turned it into something about her...saying that she wasnt useless.

    I did get to go to work...
    but...What did I do wrong. I feel terrible to this day!
  2. debbiej

    debbiej Member

    You don't deserve what your father did. He had no right to do that, at all. It is your hard-earned money and he had no right to go out on a rage like that about $5. You gave him a twenty, I would have waited until I had fives to give him.

    Is there any way you could possibly stay with a friend? How long is it until you turn 18 and you can move out/claim the bank account as your own? Have you thought of calling the police or someone on him?

    If he threatened to take your money, I'd pull it ALL out of the account and lock it up somewhere where he can't get to it.

    Be careful. :smile:

  3. flowerpot

    flowerpot Well-Known Member

    Wow.. that is REALLY upsetting to hear. You didn't deserve any single part of that. I don't mean to be rude but I think it's your parents that need the help, that was just plain horrible. You didn't do anything wrong what so ever. I really hope you're okay!
  4. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    What your Mother said "I'm not useless", and "If you hadn't said that..." makes me think that he probably hits her too. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Hang in there until you are 18 and get the fuck out no matter what.
  5. Perishable

    Perishable Well-Known Member

    I know he doesn't beat her...
    Im stuck in the house with them most of the time. :/
    They do tend to get into there random scuffles. (Maybe not random...w/e)

    I dont know, I have placed that whole 'happening' in my past.
    Now my days with my family feel so fake and fabricated.
    Very uncomforting, I dont feel as if I am loved.
    I still have hatrid for them both, but it has subsided into being hidden and non-released for the purpose of compling.
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