OK I know this should go into abuse and violence, but that forum triggers me too much, so I try to keep as far away as possible. Saturday was the scariest in a while, got into a full blown fight with my brother, I think I broke a couple of ribs again. He was angry because his 16yr girlfriend wont talk to him (he's 22 for what its worth). And me and mum told him the truth, he beats his girlfriend so she is scared of him, who would want to talk to him? This reminds me so much of the time I was with my ex who abused me, that's coming to three years since he last raped me. I wanted to end my life last night, and still want to, but I have some friends from here calling me texting me and getting in the way of plans (thank you to those). What can I do though, I want to run away, I did it last year, then I came home, I was told everything would change, has it? No. Can I run away, do I have anywhere to go? No. I can't move out either, as I have no job, and currently cannot get one due to economy. Is this all worth it? Is life worth all this? I know I sound like a hypocrite from my post in reply to <username>'s thread, and everything I said there is true. I need to and so does he to keep on fighting. I hate this I hate feeling like this. I hate being so worthless to those who know me in real life . Anyway, I now have a fractured rib, my back hurts even more again, and im pretty bruised, but not black and blue, they're red... hmm and the day I was last raped by someone who should have loved me, is coming up soon, the day I hope to depart.