Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by byebyebeautiful, May 20, 2009.

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  1. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    OK I know this should go into abuse and violence, but that forum triggers me too much, so I try to keep as far away as possible.

    Saturday was the scariest in a while, got into a full blown fight with my brother, I think I broke a couple of ribs again. He was angry because his 16yr girlfriend wont talk to him (he's 22 for what its worth). And me and mum told him the truth, he beats his girlfriend so she is scared of him, who would want to talk to him? This reminds me so much of the time I was with my ex who abused me, that's coming to three years since he last raped me. I wanted to end my life last night, and still want to, but I have some friends from here calling me texting me and getting in the way of plans (thank you to those).
    What can I do though, I want to run away, I did it last year, then I came home, I was told everything would change, has it? No. Can I run away, do I have anywhere to go? No. I can't move out either, as I have no job, and currently cannot get one due to economy. Is this all worth it? Is life worth all this?
    I know I sound like a hypocrite from my post in reply to <username>'s thread, and everything I said there is true. I need to and so does he to keep on fighting. I hate this I hate feeling like this. I hate being so worthless to those who know me in real life .

    Anyway, I now have a fractured rib, my back hurts even more again, and im pretty bruised, but not black and blue, they're red... hmm

    :( and the day I was last raped by someone who should have loved me, is coming up soon, the day I hope to depart.
  2. i am very sad to hear this and i wish i was in a position to help you, this you know as i have told you before.
    yes, moving out and making your own way in the world is the ideal solution as i have also said but i understand that now isnt the greatest of times to do this.
    i dont know what to say or do to help you here, i can as everyone else can , say to normal platitudes but i am sure they are not what you are wanting to hear right now.

    running away !! hmm we have discussed this over the time we have been friends and although i would normally be against it i think maybe this is the exception to the rule.

    i do hope that you have been to a&e to check yourself out
    and i hope things do quieten down for now

    and you know i wont let you suicide so dont think it hun.

    be strong
  3. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    Eh, cant figger out who you are....

    I cant go to A&E, and i dont want to. I wish i could kill my brother, so badly wish i could. :(
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I think you should report your brother..You don't have to take that kind of abuse. If you don't then he isn't going to stop.. Next time he may really harm you where you end up in the hospital..You really should go to A&E to check out your ribs.. You could have a broken one that if left untreated could possibly punture a lung..
  5. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    I should, but then ill be dissowned by my family. Its easier to die, or run away. :(
  6. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    You could go to a women's refuge, they could help you.
  7. canis-lupis

    canis-lupis Well-Known Member

    Oh sweeheart, I am hearing you ,
    you know how to get hold of me 24/7 , dont be afraid to shout




    thx for the call, hoping you feeling better.

    remember whenever you feel the need , reach out.
  8. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    I've been to those places before, they are no help. I'll just have to put up with it, or try to.. :(
    Thanks Canis-Lupis.
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