Now I know that to the majority of people I am classed as 'ugly' it used to bother me when I was younger. But these days I don't tend to care much. Though of course occasionally someone will say or react to me and it makes me feel like shit. I'll be honest right now. I'm 15 years old, I wear all black clothes. I wear a lot of makeup, straighten my hair; though I am scruffy with my clothes. I just wear tights, shorts, boots, hoodie, mesh gloves, Skull bags/Jewellery. A lot of people do think I am ugly. You know I don't mind that, I find most people really ugly, so ugly that I don't even want to look at them. That's my opinion though I keep it to myself, not going to tell them it, wouldn't want to cause them any negative feelings about themselves. But I've noticed the amount of people who look at me in a bad way. I do get a lot of compliments, or people asking about my outfits. They're usually from older people. Anyone below the age of 25 sometimes stares at me in disgust. I've had people insult me. I've had people look at me and I can see that one word they are thinking, they think I'm damaged because the stereotype of anyone who dresses as I do is that we are 'messed up'. I've had people lean out of their cars to stare at me, I've had people honk their car. I've had people stop in the street and look at me. This is not paranoia when someone literally stands 6ft away and stares at you. I've also seen peoples faces when they've looked at my left arm. People sometimes wince, go pale, look away. I am banned from leaving the house without my mesh gloves on because my mother is so embarrassed by the amount of scars. Because of the state of my arms I am the only one in my class who is able to wear the type of gloves I do. I have to ask permission to take the gloves off too. I am a freak to most people. I don't want to be beautiful, I just want to be treated normal. My fashion, my personality, my attitude, my scars (that are in the 100's) and my self destructive behaviours sickens people. Changing 1 thing won't change the rest. Am I that horrid that people look at me in this way? If I'll always be treated like this, how the hell will I live through life? I've been called a c*nt, wh*re, sl*t, b*tch, damaged goods, freak. My mother has called me selfish, that no 'decent' man will ever want me when I look like a freak from my scars. What is the point when it's obvious I'll always be treated like this?