Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much longer

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Ldub20, Aug 9, 2012.

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  1. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    If I ain't powerless, explain how. Because I can't make people love me. I can't make my DISEASE go away. I think my only option is to kill myself.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    You can get support go into doc or hospital and get treatment to help you get some control over your illness it may not go away but you can have some control with meds therapy ok h ugs
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    As TE said, there are things to work on and ways to make what you want come to fruition...in order to be loved, one has to let others in and know what it would take to be in a relationship...these are skills you can explore with a professional...that way you take back the power
     
  4. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    Matt, buddy, I know how you feel. And I know you probably don't want people telling you "it gets better" or telling you to seek drugs or therapy, or telling you that you need to be happy with yourself. I know exactly what it feels like to want love and nothing else.

    I'll be brutally honest here - no, you can't MAKE your loneliness go away. No, you can't MAKE anyone love you. But that doesn't mean that somebody can't love you. I struggle with the same issue myself, so convinced am I that I am unlovable. But what if I'm wrong? From what I've read by others who have posted in your threads, there are people here who genuinely like you. And I guess you could say that a couple of people here like me too (albeit not many, and that number probably shrinks by the day). I know what you mean with the do or die scenario - you want love, if you can't have love, then you want death. I feel the same way. But let's avoid that whole "only option" thing for a minute here. You don't have to die, because you don't know that somebody won't love you. You're right, this is something that you yourself are powerless over... but would you even want to force somebody to love you? That wouldn't be love at all, would it? I'm sure you would prefer it if somebody WANTED to love you. I know that's what I want. I don't want someone to feel obligated to be with me, I don't want to feel like I have to have power over that. I just want them to want me, without any effort on my part. Surely that is the best case scenario, is it not? It's what we all want, deep down, to be loved. And I know that after so many years of being alone and unloved and shunned and rejected by those that we want to love us, it can feel like we are in fact unlovable. And maybe some people are, in fact, unlovable. But shit, man... I've seen people here saying that they think you're the cat's pajamas - sorry for the old-timey lingo there... if you'd prefer something a little more modern, how about "all that and a bag of chips". If people here can think so highly of you, then surely it is possible that somebody could love you, don't you think? Do you really want to give up now, when you have the chance of being happy? I mean, I talk a lot of shit here, and I can get pretty down on myself too, but I don't really want to depart this world without first having a taste of love... and I don't think you do, either. How old are you, anyway? I'm 33, and I've never had love... yet I still hang on to hope. Yeah, maybe I'm a fool. Yeah, maybe it is delusional. But shit... I didn't live this long just to die alone and unloved. Hell, I could've died alone and unloved years ago and saved myself a crapload of heartache. But I'm going to keep trying, for now... why? Because love is worth the wait.
     
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    As I recall, you're in Austin, Texas. Austin has such incredible resources for therapy and related things that could help. Seek these out. It requires taking the effort, you can't "make" someone like you.
     
  6. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    I don't live in Austin, pickwithAustin, I live in Hawaii. And because I can't make my loneliness go away, it gives me the perfect reason to kill myself. My mind ain't changing. My life is coming to an end.
     
  7. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    No, you are not powerless. The ball is in your hands. You can make the loneliness go away if you work hard enough at it. You need to empower yourself instead of becoming a "victim". You can't make people love you and it would be foolish to think you could. Have you spoken with your psychologist more about your feelings? If not that would be a good place to start.
     
  8. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    Thanks Butterfly. My next meeting with her is Saturday.
     
  9. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    Love does not suddenly go poof and appear over night. It blooms from friends, takes time to grow, and when the time right it blossoms into something amazing. It must be difficult to feel not appreciated or loved, or cared for. But to make someone love you would cause a flaseness and resent, I would suggest that you go out to local events groups or things of that kind, and get to know people as friends.
    Only then can you get more. it will be difficult, but you don't have to let aspergers rule your life, because you can control it, yes it will be difficult, yes it will be tough and trying, but you can do it. Instead of fighting against it, work with it, accept it. It is part of you, no matter how much you do not want it to be, but do not let it define you.
     
  10. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    My bad, I had you confused with someone who comes into chat and has a similar user name. Hawaii is beautiful. I hope you are able to find the strength to seek the wellness you deserve.
     
  11. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    Ldub,

    I understand your feelings of complete loneliness and it does make it harder to carry on.
     
  12. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    That's it. Don't try to stop me but don't expect September to begin with me. Suicide it is!
     
  13. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    Dubby.... !!!!!!!!

    Give yourself something else here, to latch onto. I have already talked to you a few times about various things, but there has to be something that you can latch onto or give a chance to. Suicide is always there, that "option on the table", but there are so many more worthwhile things being missed and overpassed on your way to just destroy your misery.
     
  14. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    Re: Because I am powerless to make my loneliness go away,I won't be breathing much lo

    we love you in chat dubby
     
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