I don't want to do it because it'll bring me down from the emotional highs or will bring me up from the emotional lows. I don't want to do it to feel. I want to do it just because I can. To how far I can go, because I think it can go further than I used to go. It's been a whole year since I've done it. Yet now, I want to. Don't know why, there was no trigger. I want to see how far I can go, how far I can push myself to do it. How much I can bleed for myself. Just because I can.