Because I feel like I can say it here

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by adesu, Mar 1, 2011.

  1. adesu

    adesu Member

    I’m a very very gender-confused man/woman. I have always felt wrong in my body. Always. It makes me sick to think that I have a… vagina down there. But at the same time, I don’t know if I could ever go through with getting a full gender change, as much as I’d like one. I’ve been experimenting, slowly but surely, and I think I’ve discovered that I am a gay man… a skinny man with a vagina, but nonetheless, a man. I don’t really understand what this means though. I feel kind of like I’m betraying the idea of gender change by fulfilling my gender-role, but still desiring to be different. I guess I’m… I dunno. If I were a woman, my desire to be a man would make me gay. But if I were a man, my desire for other men would also make me gay. I guess it’s a weird double negative.

    I don’t know why, but it feels like this is a good place to say this.
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    From the female heterosexual point of view.

    This must be very confusing for you, being a woman and feeling like a man. That likes other men. But I can tell you one thing, it happens.

    Last year there was an article(or something) on 60 Minutes here in Australia about a lead soldier(can't remember what rank) that wanted the gender change surgery(male to female). What was also confusing for him is that while he felt like he should be a woman, he ALSO liked women.

    Have you told anyone about this? How old are you? What country are you from?


    Being gay isn't so bad! :laugh:
  3. adesu

    adesu Member

    I've told my partner. I'm seventeen. I'm from the united states
    I never said being gay was bad, its jsut a bit confusing. i feel hypocritical
  4. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Yes it can be confusing. But after a while you get used to it. Mind you, your in a slightly different situation to me, so you'll have varied experiences.

    So are you with a gay guy? Or is he straight and you told him about this?

    I'm assuming you haven't started any kind of hormone therapy at this point in time. How do you think your family will take the news if you tell them?

    Have you ever considered talking to a doctor about it? You might be able to get the ball rolling and start getting things done(to my knowledge, female to male is easier/less problematic than male to female. But it's not like I really know :tongue:).
  5. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Good for you. :)
  6. adesu

    adesu Member

    I'm with a gay guy... it makes me feel a little self conscious because I'm still a biological female