Because of you.....

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by White Dove, Oct 4, 2007.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Because of you two i cant trust anyone anymore...

    Because of you two i am afraid to trust., i cant even trust a minister anymore...

    you both broke my heart and my trust ... you helped put more pain and more burden upon me yet you just go on like it isint anything to you.. Well it is something to me... I begged with you.. i pleaded with you on several times and attempts but yet you would rather i stay in this stupid depression, you would rather me stay in pain... well guess what??? not any more will i ever allow anymore hurt upon my heart.from you so take your phone love, pretend love and shove it...

    this is directed to you .. ( THE DALTONS ) These words are the truth spoken.. i implore anyone to view this vidio if you wish but it especially is meant for the Daltons.. because of you i cant trust..
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 4, 2007
  2. Trip the Dark fantastic

    Trip the Dark fantastic Well-Known Member

    There is no easy way of saying this. You are dying white dove...

    How much more energy do you want to spend disliking/hating the Daltons?

    How much more time do you allow your ill-feelings towards them taking over what is left of your life?

    How much longer do you allow your thoughts being dominated by other people?

    How much longer are you willing to make other peoples problems and inadequacies your own?

    How much more thought-space do want to dedicate to people, who seem to ignore you?

    How much more time do you allow these negative thoughts occupy precious moments before you die?

    Its time to let go and accept that you can't change the Daltons. They are reacting towards you by ignoring you. Whatever their reasons for being in that way - maybe they cant cope with guilt, maybe they never learned how to resolve an issue, maybe they are afraid of you dying and are waiting till the problem goes away by itself....

    ...whatever their reasons, don't make it your mission to change them. If there is a mission left for you, change yourself. Let go of those negative feelings towards them. Think how much love there is left in you and for whom, instead of how much ill-feeling has been accumulated for them.

    Think about in what state of mind do you want to die.
    Do you want to close your eyes and say: "I'm at ease with the world, I was able of forgiving those who have hurt me and it doesn't matter, whether they have forgiven me. I cant change them. They have to work through that themselves, like I did..."
    or do you want to spend your last thoughts: "I'll never forget what they have done to me. Once I'm dead, they will finally realize their mistakes and what they have done to me and will finally know that they have missed their opportunity of apologizing..."

    I would like you to think about what I suggested and don't fall into the trap of using my thoughts for another launch into: How could they...what they have done to me and why cant they accept......"

    White dove, time to just forgive and let go before dying.

  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I have to agree with much of what Trip the Dark said. As long as you allow those negative feelings and hurts to consume your life, you cannot ever find the peace you are seeking. One of the hardest things to do is forgive those that we feel have hurt us or done wrong by us. But if you don't, the darkness remains.You have spoken of some of the good things in your life. Let those be the things you think about instead of the other.
  4. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    because of you-Kelly Clarkson
    great song :) you should listen to
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I must say I agree.

    Hang in here for you hun.
    You have my number if you'd ever like to call that's perfectly fine.
    Love you dear.
  6. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    i was in a lot of pain and still in a lot without meds when i wrote that..

    i fully agree with what you say here except for one statement and that one is this ( How much longer are you willing to make other peoples problems and inadequacies your own? ) As a christian i have learned to help carry anothers burden as in christian love is suppose to be.. like here on this forum.. even though it may not look like it, i do all i can to help others here and to help ease their pain, help carry their burdens..

    As to the Daltons.. i no longer love them and hate them.. They did nothing but help to destroy not only my trust once again but in others.. now i cant even trust a minister or anyone else because of that.. it was already rough on me to trust once before and even when they told me they loved me i could not understand it and thats why i asked them why???

    I am going to face these last few days with God cause right now he is the only one i can trust fully..i know their way of thinking.. they are high minded and think its me that needs to do things,etc.. they call my depression an evil thing, etc which calls me evil basically yet they are forgetting that they pushed a lot of this depression on me.. maybe they just cant see it?? When they have refuissed to answer my plea for amends thats not what God wants.. their reason for doing this is that they dont believe me because of my stupid past.. this God has shown me is the reason and when they see me dead and know i died by this cancer its gonna hit them hard but i want nothing more to do with them.. God told me to let them go.. enough is enough... he will deal them on his own term and in his own way... whatever that means..??

    so i wont mention them anymore, want nothing to do with them... i dont love them anymore...

    Blackness i really like that song.. first time i had ever heard it.. ever heard that song * picture * originaly sung by KIDD ROCK and SHERAL CROW?? well me and my new boyfriend is gonna sing that this saturday night and hopfully i have someone who is gonna tape it for me.. if so i will put it online if i can figure out how to upload it from my e-mail and let you all hear it.. BY THE WAY- he told me he loved me the other day on the phone... i just hate that i am dying soon and gonna leave him but he knows and says he doesnt care because he wants to spend all the time he can with me.. and he sings good too..

    gentlelady and carolin :hug: thanks..if i need you i will call.
  7. scott1891

    scott1891 Member

    Hey girl after reading your response .. I can say I was for the most part encouraged sounded upbeat.. am so glad you found someone special he loves you and despite your circumstance is willing to share your time left loving you. Please embrace that and focus on him so that your remaining days are filled with joy love and peace.. who knows what tomorrow holds.. I knew deep down there was a beautiful girl in there and after the last few months I think I have finally since a glimpse of that girl coming out.. come out all the way and spread those wings. stand and say this me like or not I will enjoy my my life and share my love...
  8. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    scott :hug:

    the above vidio is of the song only.. this is the original vidio i sort of got them mixed up , same song just this is the vidio and that above is of the song only..
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